What do guys like to hear in bed?
Find a Conversation
What do guys like to hear in bed?
| Mon, 09-12-2005 - 4:19pm |
My DH talks dirty to me and says sexy things during foreplay and in bed and I like it. I would like to be able to do the same but I feel like I sound silly saying those things. I don't really know what to say anyway. Like when he says he wants to f*ck me...what would be a good response to that? What other things should I say?

A good response to that? Well, "Yeah, f*** me hard" would be a good response! You're right though, a lot of this stuff DOES sound corney but that's kinda the point - a lot of it is often just short phrases that convey feelings and meaning rather than having to be any great works of the english language. In other words, it's allowed to be corney.
Part of the problem is that you are still thinking about it, rather than just blurting it out. Try practicing when you're not having sex. Choose a phrase (like the one above for example) and say it quietly to yourself 50 times in 10 different ways. After a while it won't feel so funny coming out of your mouth.
Another thing that might help. Try talking during sex but before things get really hot. You know, talking about what you'd like to do in bed, or do to him, ideas, suggestions, communication! That'll make it easier to talk dirty when it gets hot and the added bonus is that your sex life will improve because you're communicating in the bedroom.
I could have several answers to: <<>>. . ."So how would you F*ckme?"; "Yeah, well I want to be f**ked by you" "really bad!"; "Let me lean over!"; "Wait a minute" (then you leave the bedroom and reappear naked and say) "ready"!.
As a another poster said, relax and just go with first instinct. We sex play over the phone quite a bit and it doesn't matter what the other is doing(ie; at work or shopping). In fact, I love to call him when I know he's surrounded by people and give beautiful, detailed specifics, just hear how much he will try to ignore me, or in best case, try to respond using normal words with a twisted tone. Maybe something like that could help you for the "in-person" phrases. Either way don't worry too much about it if you can never get sexually verbal with him face to face. My guy does wonderful over the phone (i have three messages saved in voicebox for when I "need" to hear it!) yet, he's usually Mr. Verbally Shy face to face.
Does it sound "silly" when he says these things? Of course not. So what makes you think it would sound "silly" coming from you? You can just agree with whatever he says.....He says "I want to....." and you can say, "Yes, I want you to........" Again, if it didn't sound silly coming from him, it's not going to sound silly coming from you.
But the bottom line is that you shouldn't do or say anything that you're not comfortable with. That kind of talk comes easier to most men than it does to most women. He may or may not care whether or not you respond in kind. If it feels strange to you, then don't do it. You're there to enjoy, not put on a performance!
Check out www.sexuality.org At one time there was a section on "phone sex" which is essentially talking "dirty". There were exercises that you could do.....to help you feel more comfortable with it. Hopefully, it's still there.