What do I do with my horny self?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
What do I do with my horny self?!
14
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 10:48pm

Haven't been on here in years, but anyway...

I've only ever known casual sex. And I have recently (about 6 months ago) sworn off of it, because I was tired of selfish men and lying men and cheating men. Mostly men who were selfish in bed. I'm looking into dating for the first time in my life (I'm in my mid-20s) but know that I will have a hard time of it...for many reasons. I would list them, but I'll spare you.

A major reason is my sex drive. I'm horny as hell! And I don't know what to do anymore. I'm doing the solo twice a day, and at work I'm thinking about sex, and a few days ago,I just saw the guy I last ended with and it was like - DAMN! @*%#! I'm not religious, but I was praying to God to give me the strength not to jump him, lol.

And I'm not going to just date any random guy. I want to date a guy worth getting to know. But even if and when I start seeing a guy, how do I wait? It may seem funny, but I honestly do not know this concept.

I was going to post this on a singles message board, but I thought maybe this board would be more insightful.

I really just don't know what to do. Is this like the withdrawal that people who do drugs sort of go through? 'Cause if it is, oh %#@*, just shoot me now.

Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:16am

Have you been masturbating during that time? If not, then your PC muscles may need some exercise. Try doing kegels, or you could get some ben wa balls (or love balls). You insert them and exercise your PC muscles while wearing them.

For many people, the first few sexual encounters with a new partner can be a bit awkward. Also, I'm sure he knows that you have been celibate for the time period, and that in itself might make both of you nervous.

I hope you keep us posted and let us know how you're doing.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:26am

I dont think I could do that I go without sex for two days and think im going crazy lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 2:13pm

I did recentely purchase a kegal devise. These five years have not been easy, considering during my 24 year marraige we had sex on average at least a couple of times a day. The new man in my life and I have talked about how long its been for me, he is such a great guy keeps reassuring me that when I'm ready it will all come back to me naturally and that he will be gentle and take his cues from me. I'm excited at finally having a normal sex life again yet I am very vey concerned and anxious about my response. On the one hand I fear I may come too quickly, and on the other I fear it may take forever. Is there something anything women over 40 should be doing regularly to keep the vaginal muscles in shape?

I really care about this guy, and want him long term,I want our first time to be special and fulfilling for us both. I even considering being with someone else the first time, just to get back in the groove, so to speak, of course that's cheating!
What'a a girl to do? Keep the advise coming this is really helpful

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 4:31pm

Well, if you're lucky like some of the other women in their 40s around here (myself included), you will find that your hormones are raging! I have always loved sex, but lately, it's quite a hunger I seem to have.

I think if you worry too much, you are going to cause more potential problems than if you just relax and enjoy the experience. Maybe have a glass of wine or two beforehand. I'm in my 40s, and I find that just having sex keeps everything working correctly. Since you have been exercising your PC muscles, you should be fine -- and ready to enjoy ;-)

Many people have awkward sex the first couple of times they engage together, and it sounds like this guy has the right attitude.



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