What do I do now?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 03-28-2008 - 9:15am |
Hi, I'm a 35 year old woman and I've only had limited sexual experiences. I've never had intercourse as I consider that to be the sole right of my future husband, if I ever marry. I've only ever been with 2 guys.
The problem is, I can't help wondering what it will be like and I really miss the kissing and foreplay (all we ever do, but without the intercourse part). My first bf used to stimulate me down there but I drew the line when it came to intercourse and I was fortunate enough that he respected me enough to not force me.
The other guy was an older man but then I was 23 when I had all these experiences. I found the older guy sweet and old fashioned (the younger guy kissed with tongue action but the older guy with just his lips but I'd have to say the older guy was better, even without the tongue action).
I have been celibate even since but now I'm longing to get married so I can have sex. I'm

You're the only person who can determine what you will and won't do sexually .... but "to have sex" is certainly not a good reason to get married. There's so much more to the commitment of marriage than that.
Being a single female "looking to get married" will often scare potential mates off.
Perhaps if you're having all of these feelings, and you're concerned about what your Pastor would think, or you want to make sure you stay within the religious guidelines you think your faith allows, then it might be best to talk with your Pastor about ways to handle the feelings you're having.
You may also want to visit this new iVillage message board:
Hot Topic: Sex & Spirituality
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlhtsex/
Not Quite Engaged ~ Breaking Up is Hard To Do
We made our goal!
Click here to join the party!
I can almost guarantee that your pastor would not die of shock. I am almost certain that you would not be the first unmarried virgin who is burning with desire that he's counseled. If he didn't expect to have to deal with a situation like this, then he's in the wrong job.
Anyway, regarding what you can do, have you ever tried masturbation? Many Christians do not believe that it is a sin, that the verses used to condemn it in the past were grossly misinterpreted. You can purchase a dildo or vibrator on-line from a clean and reputable store like Drugstore .com or Amazon. You can use it to simulate intercourse. It won't quite be the same, but it might help satisfy the curiosity somewhat, so you don't accidentally make some bad decisions based on your desire, rather than what's true to your soul.