what does it feel like ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
what does it feel like ?
6
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 3:10am
Hi,
So ive always been against anal sex as i think that hole is used for one thing only (obviously going to the toilet).
Ive thought about actually trying it, my boyfriend wants me to give it a go. Im scared about std's and tearing,bleeding and every little thing you can think about. My friends have done it and say afterwards it just feels like you need to go to the toilet.
I said to him,if i try it he is using a condom, what sort of diseases could i get if he doesnt use one ?
Is there anything i need to be worried about if i give this a go ?
All i know is we need lots of lube and he needs to take it slow.
Any help on anal sex please ?
thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 4:13am

It's very similar to vaginal sex........in that if you're not properly prepared and aroused, it can hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 5:11am

Im a little embarrassed because of the hair around my anus, so thats also another reason why i dont watn him going anywhere near there.


do i have to go to the toilet an hour before or anything ? i dont want any mess or anything. hes done this before with other women, so he knows what to expect.where as ive always been against it, and havent done it before

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 6:53am

I think that your motivation may be wrongly placed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2008
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 7:27am

I don't think whether or not he enjoys it himself is important in whether you enjoy it. However, he should be very sensitive to you about this and not pressure you in any way on your decision. Obviously, practicing safe sex is of the utmost importance, take care of and protect your body. He needs to use a condom, at least until you're in a 100% committed relationship and there has been testing for STDs, this is my policy anyhow...and even then, you might still feel better using a condom. He should respect your boundaries and not try to deter you from doing what you think is right to protect your body.

That said, if you're at least curious, experimenting on your own is a great way to see how anal sex feels. It requires some relaxation/concentration, you'll see how this works if you decide to start exploring. And lubricant is important. It can be a very intense and pleasurable feeling IMO, but to each his own. I've let my steady boyfriends/ex-husband go there on occasion since I really enjoy it from time to time when I'm in the right mood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 8:28am

I'm sure you've read this, but when done properly, there shouldn't be any pain with anal sex. There definitely shouldn't be any bleeding regardless. If you're apprehensive, then at the very least, make sure you are in a position to have at least equal control over the situation. Personally I find that the spooning position is great for this. You can easily pull away if he doesn't stop in a timely manner, or you can back into him if you're good to to go.

If you're not sure you're ready, as the others have mentioned, you can try anal play on your own, or you could try anal play with him (using fingers or toys) prior to trying with a penis. Many people think that women don't enjoy anal sex, but that simply isn't true. While some may not enjoy it at all, if done correctly (no pain), then it can be a highly pleasurable experience for you.

Here are some articles that discuss what you need to know to have a safe, anal sex experience:

Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html

Second Opinions: Anal Sex
What you should know
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,7558qs10,00.html

Keep us posted on what you decide.

















iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2006
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 7:27pm

Hi,Thanks for that. Its helped a bit. Im curious on trying it, my boyfriend said its up to me and if i want to we will. But if i dont want to, its not an issue - theres no rush if we do.


I know he's lovin the idea im considering it though. I think i understand a bit more about it now, Thanks alot again!