What gives????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
What gives????
6
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 7:54pm
I have been married since 1970 and have NEVER had an orgasm with another person in the room!!!! I used to blame my husband, but not any more. Unless I am masturbating and fantasizing about another woman dominating me, I can't orgasm no matter how pleasurable the touch or the technique. I have a very good friend who is the same way and we are both perplexed albeit determined to figure out why this is. Just how freaky are we?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 9:36pm
Not really sure, but is it possible you "trained" yourself to only orgasm one way and that is by masturbation and your fantasy of dominating women.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for cyrilpatrick
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 11:38pm
In this day and age, "freaky" is a very loosely defined situation and I wouldn't say that you qualify based solely on your orgasm fantasy. On the other hand, 34 years is a long time to go without satisfying your curiosity. As a male, it is not my normal nature to direct a woman to a woman for satisfaction, but since you and your friend share the same fantasy, wouldn't it be more reasonable to pursue it further with each other. You may very well find that there is even greater pleasure to be had when orgasming with another person in the room. If not, remember that there are far too many women who have not been able to achieve orgasm at all, so in some respects, you are already fortunate. Good luck. summerbjak@mail2leo.com

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:21pm
I think it's much more common than we know. Allowing yourself to let go and be vunerable enough to orgasm with a partner is learned.....just as we typically learn to orgasm through masturbation. Alone.

It wouldn't be easy because this is so ingrained in your sexual response, but you could change it if you tried. It would take lots of time and much patience but you could learn to respond to your partner's touch. So, IMO, any behavior/response can be modified if you are determined enough.


Edited 6/22/2004 12:07 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:25pm
I appreciate your comments, but the answer to your question is NO about "training" myself . . . it gets a little complicated, but, believe me, I would LOVE to hit the heights thinking about my husband. It's an overused expression, but been there and done that . . . with little success.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:27pm
Actually, we've pretty much arrived at the same conclusion . . . if nothing else, we'll laugh a lot. Thanks for your comments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:32pm
I AM determined, but frustrating doesn't even begin to describe my state of mind!!! I envy all of those women who are able to let their brains take a holiday and simply enjoy the experience . . . I appreciate your taking the time to write.