What happened to the kissing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
What happened to the kissing?
13
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 2:43pm

My BF gives only butterfly kisses. Light and short and on a rare occasion there might be a flutter of the tip of his tongue against my lips. When we first started dating he would kiss me deeply and passionately and it always excited me. In the past months it has seemed like there is less intention with his kisses - his lips barely touch mine. Our relationship is going great but when I asked him about the change in the way he kissed me he just told me that this was how he liked to kiss. That's fine but every once and a while I'd like to be kissed like he meant it, you know? I've tried kissing him the way I'd like him to kiss me and it's almost as if he doesn't even kiss me back anymore. I'm not looking for tonsil-hockey, I just want to know what happened to my marvelous kisser and how can I get him back?

Nothing else has changed. The frequency of our sex life hasn't changed and there haven't been any other big changes in our life. I just don't understand. We used to lay together and make out and now I'm lucky if I get a single kiss on the mouth before, during, or after sex. I know that make-out sessions are usually part of a young relationship and that it tapers off with time, but is it normal to disappear complete? I've never had this in a pervious relationship and am finding it a little disappointing, if not alarming.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 12:24pm

Yes, he is looking for excuses, it's pretty obvious.

But from what you've said, he seems to expect YOU to make all the changes! What has he done lately to make you happier in bed and out?

If this relationship isn't meeting even your basic needs, then you may need to rethink staying in it. And btw, anger can be used to avoid confrontation and as manipulation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 1:13pm
I just wanted to thank everyone who posted their support. I'll try to suggest to my BF that maybe we need a third party to sit in on our talks about these issues or at the very least approach our conversations differently. I just wish he would realize just how devoted to him I am. I know that there is a possibility that we won't be able to work these things out and that it may very well mean that we won't be able to continue our relationship but I also wanted to thank all of you for being so positive in your suggestions of constructive ways we can work our issues out. All of it is very appreciated and I also just appreciate a place to vent some of my frustrations. If anyone else has any insights or suggestions that they'd be willing to share I would be happy to hear them. Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 1:21pm

I agree with the others, he


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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