What happened to RESPECT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
What happened to RESPECT?
63
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 11:14am

I find some posts on this board as well as other boards


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 3:43pm
I agree with you martinisnsushi.

Some time ago, there was a post (Oral Sex board I think) about not giving oral sex being a deal-breaker. I was really surprised at the responses there as well. Too many people said yes, it is. I dont understand that way of thinking. There is much, much, more to a good relationship than any particular sex act.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 3:49pm
I certainly think that mainstream culture has turned women into objects to a degree.

Although women are encouraged to be independant, to be more than just a sexual object, liberated and equal in many areas, other areas promote exactly the opposite. I think that these 'other' areas are the ones that many more young women are exposed to. Take music videos for example, particularly Rap. Women are blatantly shown shaking their booty and being nothing more than a sexual accessory for the men. They are called "Bitches".

Brittany Spears has promoted the living daylights out of the "Sex sells" message right down to songs where she is shown virtually naked and being a "Slave4u".

Formerly a 'good' girl that promoted virginity she has shown through her actions that being a good girl isn't fun by becoming, in her words: "I've turned from a little nice school girl, into this sexy, slutty seductress. And I like it... I like it alot."

It's no wonder that young women are giving into what their men want and think that they have to be these little sexual creatures shaving, blowing and be subserviant. Their role models are doing just that.

Who is to blame? We are. As older adults and parents we have let this happen. If TV's were being turned off by parents and massive numbers of complaints from adults flooded the networks the style of programming would change, sales would drop and you can bet that images would be adjusted.

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anonymous user
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 4:16pm
I don't think that it is a lack of respect for sex but a lack of self respect. I am 23 and I would never do anything sexually that I wasn't comfortable with. Yes I am shaved but because I prefer it that way, I don't swallow, and I don't do anal. My bf has never pressured me to do any of it and he never would (he is 29). We both care about mutual pleasure. He is always askimg me what I want and making sure that I am pleased also. But he is also that way outside outside of our sexual relationship. He opens the car door for me, always asks how my day was and how I am doing, and kisses my hand which I find very sweet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 9:19pm

Yep.


Sharon

A friend is the person who kn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 9:22pm

I asked my 22 yr old son the same questions tonight.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 9:31pm

That's what I meant, lack of self-respect


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 1:22am
Those girls who will do anything to keep a guy? They are the ones who end up single. Because the men get bored. Sure, having a girl who will do anything to keep you happy is fun for a while, but after that, he needs far more. He needs a woman who is strong and confident.

When I look at DH and his mates, they have ALL ended up marrying girls who have minds of their own. Not a wishy-washy "whatever you want" type among them. DH has even commented that some of his mates *need* a strong willed woman to keep them in control LOL

But the sad thing is: I bet that no girl who "will do anything to please her man" will even get as far as reading this post, let alone recognise herself. She'll keep doing everything she can and wondering why she ends up without a respectful relationship with a long term boyfriend.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 6:07am
One of the only two men who had replied said to "galsjustwanttohave"

"Have you ever heard the old saying that men want a lady in the dining room and a whore in the bedroom?"



And what do whores do and who wants it?


Edited 11/12/2004 6:09 am ET ET by raising_the_sun

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 7:48am

<<<"Have you ever heard the old saying that men want a lady in the dining room and a whore in the bedroom?">>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 10:45am
Oooooooh boy am I gonna get it for not reading the other replies first, LOL, but nobody knows where I live, so there! :D

Anyway, as everybody should know by now, I'm a graying gent who listens to 1930s & 1940s music, so I see such a stark difference with todays guys than back in the past in ALL aspects of being what is typically called .

As others have pointed out, I just don't see guys holding doors open, or holding the hand of a lady as she steps up or steps down, or letting her order first or pick her preferred place to go or to sit or even when it comes to doing something. So many differences.

Anyhow, I correlate the sex issue with the basic treatment of women issue really. How a man treats a woman outside of sex tells me thats how he would treat her during sex as well. Probably not THAT realistic of me, sure sure sure, but it IS an interesting way of looking at it nevertheless.

Now, when I do something for the Mrs., I don't see it as me not having self-respect at all, its just my wish to please her, and if she is pleased by having something done 'her' way, then THAT is EXACTLY what I want, I couldn't be happier! LOL!!! I think many of these posts are actually like that and simply 'appear' to be more disrespectful to the lady than it really is sometimes. But for those times that the ladies are in such disrespectful situations...sigh...what do we do??? We can't even convince these young ones to use FULL protection, so how can we convince them that there ARE gents and true ladies out there that still follow the code for that matter? LOL!

The VERY thing that set me straight was that I had positive examples to follow. Hopefully that will permeate more throughout our societies, hopefully.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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