what is happening here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
what is happening here?
4
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:47pm
DBF and I have been together 2 months,he is 23, I am 28. I have a very high sex drive, and when we first started dating, he did to. It has been almost 2 weeks since we have had sex, not my doing. I begged him one night (the last time we had sex) and he finally gave in. I do not feel I should have to "beg" for sex. He just seems really uninterested for some reason. Yesterday we had a couple of drinks at a friends house, and he started messing w/ me on the way home, which got me all worked up. Then when we got home, he said he would have to get back to me. What the he**?? Is it me? Am I doing somethig wrong? Is something wrong w/ him? He "smokes" every now and again, could that be something to do w/ it? I am getting really frustrated here! Any ideas, suggestions, advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 3:56pm

Go to google.com and type "sexual effects of drugs pot marijuana on sex" and you can educate yourself. Here is a small excerpt from one site:

"One last note: long-term use of marijuana does seem to affect reproductive health. Marijuana has an effect on testosterone production and other hormones, which in turn can affect fertility, erectile dysfunction, menstruation, and other areas. Also, heavy, long-term marijuana use can either cause or contribute to low motivation and sex drive. Unfortunately, this is not usually one of the items on any pot smoker's wish list."




Edited 4/25/2005 3:57 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 4:18pm

The only way to find out what is going on with him is to ask him.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 5:05pm

I think you need to ask him what's going on. 23 is awfully young to be turning down sex although, libido can vary greatly from man to man.

But really...there's no way you can know how much pot he's smoking. You may only see him doing it from time to time but he could be doing it a lot more on his own.

And yes, pot is a drug and drugs can have an effect on the individual drive.

I don't think you should be begging for sex either. IF he's not willing to compromise on this, he's not the guy for you.




Edited 4/25/2005 5:11 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 12:19pm
All I can say is that I sympathize! I should have read down this message board further because I posted something so similiar just a little while ago. My boyfriend is the same way and he's 20 (I'm 24). I dont get it... and I've practically begged too. My feelings get hurt or I get mad, then he gets mad, and we fight about it. I dont know his deal is, he just doesnt seem to want sex very much, and I DO!
He doesnt smoke up, but believe me, I'd be so happy if I had a stupid simple explanation for his behavior. And its hard to talk to people about it, esp since most of my friends are the ones dealing with how to get their boyfriend to NOT have sex sometimes.