What the heck is going on here??
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| Mon, 11-27-2006 - 11:42am |
Okay I really need another point of view on this, because I am really confused. There is this guy that I have been seeing/talking to, whatever, for about a month and a half. I was kinda talking to his brother before for a while, but nothing happened there. Well the brother got kinda mad at us, but we continued to talk anyway. He lives 3 hours away, but I went there for 2 weekends, and he came here like twice. The first time I went, he tried to have sex with me, but at that point I actually liked him and didn't want to do that yet. And after that, we were kinda talking about "us", and he said that he would want to make it work if I did, and I said yeah. But, I wasn't sure if thats all he wanted and he just wasn't gonna talk to me after that or what. But we kept talking. We talked pretty much every night for an hour, for like a month!
I really liked him, and I was just going with it. When he came back into town, he hung out with me at night and stuff and it was cool. Except one of the nights, I couldn't get into this bar, so he ended up taking me to my car and going with his buddies instead, which I thought sucked and was kinda rude :(, but I let it go and thought oh well.
Well a couple weeks ago, he just became distant, didn't respond to a text, was short and so on. I was supposed to go see him for the weekend but his grandparents ended up coming, supposedly. I was just kinda mad because he was coming back in a few weekends anyway, and wanted him to make it to where I could go there. But once again, whatever. Except that he didn't talk to me at all that weekend. No calls or texts. And tahts fine if you are busy with family or whatever, but that just wasn't like him, he usually would text or something.
Well after that, I hadn't heard from in for 4 days. Yeah. I was like wow. I was just gonna let it go, but I was kinda mad so I sent him a text asking whats been up? and if he wanted to keep talking, if not that is fine, but I just wanted to know. Well he replied saying he has been really busy with work and he would call me later, and he did. I have learned that you're never too busy if you really like someone. So why would you call if you didn't have an interest?!? Me being a girl, I kinda brought stuff up, like why haven't I heard from you? Are we cool? yada yada. I guess I just really wanted to be reassured because it's been a guessing game with him. Although I should have just been more cool, I have a problem with sort of freaking out and jumping to conclusions with guys. So after that we kinda started talking again.
Well he came back this weekend for thanksgiving and said he would stay with me. Nope, never did. But i did seem him twice at his brothers, where we all hang out. Its so weird, because we didn't acknowledge each other at all! Which was fine, because no one knows about us still talking. Well later on we ended up kissing and making out and stuff and I told him that I wanted to do stuff with him. I'm just to the point where I don't care anymore, lol, and figure why not. I know it might seem bad but right now I don't really care. Well I saw him again the next night and said some stuff to him. I asked why he did it. Why he continued to talk me for a month. If he jsut wanted fun or wanted more. And I was being way cool, I was like I am cool with whatever, just tell me because I have no clue. And he said that honestly to have more would be hard, because he lives there and I live here and he might be going away for 3 months for work, and to tell me that I can't have fun and do whatever is not something he would want to do. So I was like well do want to be open then? and he was like yeah. And I asked if he ever wanted me to come see him again? And he said yeah you can. I was like umm I can? ok. It would be nice to know if you wanted me to, not if I can.
So then I asked him why he said he planned on staying with me, if he really didn't plan on it, lol. He said that cuz I was with his brother a lot, and we were always at their house, and that if I would have said do you want to go to my apartment, then he would, ha! I tried that I thought. So that night I said well I want you to come over tomorrow then, hinting it very obviously that there would be no strings attached, just fun, and he said he would. I said no you won't, and he said yes, it's on his way home, and that he will call me the next day and he will come over. I asked like 5 times, lol. And when we left he said see ya tomorrow. well guess what?!? The next day, I got nothin!!! Nothing at all, no call, no text, nothing! What the hell??
So my questions are...Why say those things if you don't mean them? Why would he pass up sex if he was just looking to mess around anyways?? Why does he occasionally text and call if he's not interested. Does he just want to stay cool with me, but just doesn't want anything more? I told him that is fine, but yet he barely even calls. Even a normal friend would text and say sorry I can't come over just to be nice! I don't get it, What is going on here??? Thank you so much in advance!!

>>Why would he pass up sex if he was just looking to mess around anyways??A<<
You would pass up the sex if things were getting complicated. It seems that things between you and him are getting very complicated. I'm sure that he's interested in sex but at the start you said that you didn't want it and now you say that you do - and I'm sure that he's picked up on your "devil-may-care" attitude and thinks that it is a bit suspicious or weird.
I would say that he has lost interest in you. It sounds like he really liked you to begin with, but he's either met someone-else or come to the conclusion that he likes you, but isn't really into you as much as he thought that he was. Therefore he stops calling because he's lost interest. Some guys can do that - bang! They drop you like a hot potato when they realise that they're not interested.
I think that you have to accept that the guy isn't really interested in you any more and although you can tempt him from time to time with the incentive of sex, he's just not going to be interested in anything serious.