What is the norm?
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What is the norm?
| Mon, 11-07-2005 - 9:06am |
What is the norm (ie 1,5,10,20 minutes) for a guy to ejac. during intercourse? oral? I know everyone is different, but just want an average.

I've never seen "statistics" on that, but I'd guess 4-5 minutes, if you're looking for an "average". But, as you said, we're all different, and it doesn't matter what the average is, a man is what he is. If he's too fast, what good does it do to know that others last longer? If he takes too long, what good does it do to know others are faster?
If a man is too fast, or too slow in YOUR mind, then that's what he is, and rather than worry what strangers do....try to figure out what YOU can do.
Men can help themselves last longer by practicing the "stop-start" method. They can also take more time with foreplay so that you're satisfied before you get to intercourse. If it takes them too long to finish, and it causes you pain or discomfort, then they should stop, and either you or he finish him by hand or orally.
"Averages" and/or "norms" are just numbers. Very few people are exactly "average". It's futile to make comparisons.
Hi DM,
Like anything sexual, there really isn't a "norm". Lengthening or shortening the time to ejaculation for men is really more of a process of knowing your own body. I know that there are certain rhythms and positions that will make me ejaculate very quickly (my wife knows them too LOL!) And others will allow me to have intercourse, basically for as long as I like.
However, there are men (usually young men) that get so excited that they ejaculate very quickly, and there are men (usually older men) that take forever to ejaculate. MOST of this is NOT physical. Sex happens in the mind (good or bad sex). With men that ejaculate quickly, the trick is to teach them to slow down...to enjoy aspects of sex other than genital stimulation...they need to think of sex as somewhat meditative. They need to detach a bit. FOr men that take forever to come...they need to fantasize. They need to get into their thoughts and share fantasys with their partners. Most guys that take too long are having a hard time having fun with sex.
Everyone is different, and it's always best not to have some expectation about what sex is "supposed" to be like or how long it is "supposed" to last. Because that can only set you up for dissappointment. Just like ANYTHING in life, if you have no expectations of what is supposed to happen, you will enjoy it much more.
Peace,
Scott.
I think that I have seen some research figures somewhere that indicated that 3-4 minutes for intercourse was about "normal". I can understand that. Certainly in a lot of relationships the "average" sexual encounter is something that happens at night before you go to sleep (or in the morning before getting up), everyone is horny but tired, the guy holds off his orgasm for a few minutes and then let's go. It's often a wham, bam, thank-you mam' kinda thing.
However, when you do have those liesurely longer sessions I'm sure that the "average" time before ejeculating is much longer. You're conciously working at holding back your orgasm and enjoying the intercourse much longer.
And of course you have guys that either cum sooner or last longer than normal. If they're cumming sooner it could be because they're young and excitable, they haven't had sex in a while, that it's a new sexual relationship and they're out of practice enjoying the sensations, or they have some hairtrigger thing going on. If they last longer it could be that they have good control and are pacing themselves in the belief that longer is better, that the position doesn't provide full-on stimulation, or that there is something unconciously making them not orgasm (nervousness in a new relationship, and fear of pregnancy are good ones).
Most guys can make themselves cum within a couple of minutes when they masturbate, so clearly if a guy lets himself go, the average time for intercourse could potentially be only a few minutes. If they last longer then it's for a reason.