What is Promiscuous?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
What is Promiscuous?
19
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 11:08am
One of the other posters, I think Tally, brought this up and now I'm wondering. Exactly how many partners qualifies a person as promiscuous? Is it X many people in a month? Is it X many people in a year? Is it X many people in a span of a few years? What is considered promiscuous?

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 11:19am

To me, personally, promiscuity is less about the number of partners one has and more about being reckless and indescriminate in choosing them. In other words, just having sex for convenience with no regard for consequences. And you can often link promiscuous behavior to other problems.

I've known several women who've had many partners over a lifetime but none of them were promiscuous. On the contrary, they were very picky and selective about their partners.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 7:58pm

You mean like having sex with one guy one night and turning around and having sex with someone else the next night with your 2 yr. old in the room? I knew someone who was very reckless like that and ended up with Chlamydia. And Gonorhea. She also married a guy and then divorced him a month later because she didn't want to be with him anymore and started sleeping with more men!

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Tue, 05-24-2005 - 9:03pm

Jennie, I remember a recent post from Tally discussing promiscurity and STDs. If this is the post you are referring to, I believe that it's important encourage the message that not only promiscuous people get STDs.

People who are in long term trusting relationships can get STDs because a partner is symptomless. Some STDs like chlamydia are frequently symptomless in a woman.

I know people who are my age (30's and 40's in Australia) who will be very careful about who they sleep with, and use condoms - but because they are naieve (sp?), stop using them when they trust that the partner is "not the type" who will have an STD.

Other people can be very careful when choosing a partner, but end up with a liar who didn't tell them about knowingly having an STD. I saw a post on another board just last week regarding that. A women who says she loves her man was having unsafe sex with him - despite having the genital wart STD. This poor bloke who took his time, and thought he knew her is about to catch a dose himself.

Or of course, you can be prefectly faithful but your partner can cheat.

Jennie, you are lucky to be young and have grown up in an era and a country where STD education is frequent. When I was growing up (Australia in the 80's) we got taught one lesson in sex ed about STDs. There was no "safe sex" with the exception of avoiding pregnancy. So, people my age and older were simply not educated about avoiding STDs. The fact that some people who are from a different era have them is not related to sleeping around - but to lack of education.

STDs already have a load of stigma attached. Let's do our best to encourage the knowledge that they are not strictly limited to those who sleep around.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 9:55am
No, I think I didn't make myself clear enough, Aisha. It was Tally that got me wondering what promiscuity is. I hear it, but I don't understand what it means, so I thought I'd ask. What's a better place than a sex board with adults that are older than I? I don't understand what it means and I'd like to know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 3:18pm
I think of promiscuous as being with alot of people "back to back" as in with someone new each time I see someone......just my opinion....I've had a couple of relatives that were like that....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 9:52pm

No, no....my fault for the misunderstanding. I kept seeing STD posts and went off on a tangent. (blushing)

In answer to your question, *I* believe that it is HABITUALLY having indiscriminate sex. I don't think that a "one off" one night stand makes someone promiscuous...but doing it regularly does. What constitutes regular? It would really depend on the attitudes of the person judging the promiscuous person.

However, the word really is open to interpretation. If you've ever seen any judgmental posts from women waiting till marriage - anyone who has sex outside of marriage is considered by them to be promiscuous.

disclaimer before I get flamed by lurkers. Yes, I'm well aware that many virgins by choice would be tolerant of the choices of others. And that they have a "live and let live" attitude.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:17am

I grew up in a very religious background and promiscuous people were those who had sex outside of marriage. I think a little differently about things now, and I live a lot more open lifestyle than I used. I don't think I am promiscuous as much as adventurous and open-minded.

However, this struck me: <have an STD.>> Sounds like the one brush that I have had with STDs -- and I am a fortysomething woman, although in the USA.

Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 10:29am
I don't think sex outside marriage is entirely promiscious. I think a promiscious individual is the one with the cell phone full of guys/girls and bounces from one bed to the other..Like fleas! Bouncing from one host body to the other just to get what they need/want.
Bed hopping. In one bed and out the other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 05-29-2005 - 10:42pm
But the whole point is that there is no clear definition of promiscuous. It means different things to different people - and no one person's definition is more accurate than that of others.
Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Mon, 05-30-2005 - 1:32pm
I think then the word should be wiped clean from our language. I don't think it should exist. Who are we to judge another's behavior when we ourselves tend to be eccentric and lacking in morals from time to time? We are only human which makes us susceptible to failure, mistakes, lapses of judgement, and moments of idiocy. We are only human. :)

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