What would you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
What would you do?
22
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 9:20am
Just have a question need some womanly advice. If your husband cook dinner for you and your kids every night, clean the house, did the laundry every weekend, took the kids to school and picked them up every day and all the other stuff around the house. Would you have sex with him when every he wanted to?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 9:24am
I think I would because if he has been doing all that stuff it gives you more time to be relaxed and not to be so tired out....I know this is the case for me. I personally have a very high sex drive to begin with so I am usually wanting to make love whenever he wants to. However, I am not married and have no kids...yet... so I am just going on what it was like when my BF and I lived in college residence.

ciao

Jenn


Edited 6/22/2004 9:25 am ET ET by poolgurl29

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 9:46am

Well, I have a high sex drive, so it's rare when I don't want to have sex, so for me the answer would be yes, but not because my husband takes care of all the household chores, kids, etc.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 10:47am
I don't think it's about the chores, or getting rewards. Women don't normally offer up sex as payment for chores done. I sure don't...I've never used sex that way.

If I had a live-in maid like Alice on The Brady Bunch, I'd LOVE that, but I wouldn't want to have sex with her because she did the chores. ;-D

I have sex with my husband whenever he wants, because I love him, he turns me on, and I have a healthy sex drive. Unless I'm really sick, I always want it. :) Most of all, I always want HIM. He just does it for me, and though I appreciate when he helps out at home, that's not the sexual trigger for me. We both make advances sexually. That's pretty even for us.

Avatar for jenniferstell
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:15am
Well, it would depend. My husband already does all of that for me except the cooking. Really, it doesn't matter WHAT he does, as long as he's doing it because he loves me. Anything that he does because he loves me, wants to help me, wants me to be happy - any of these - makes me want to have sex with him more just because I know he's doing it because he FEELS for me.

I hope that made sense...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:22am
Not only would I have sex whenever he wanted it, I'd probably build a shrine to him....because he sounds like a Saint to me.

BUT seriously....like the others who responded....I'd do it whether or not he did those things, because I WANT to.....not because of what he does.

Hopefully, you're doing those things because you want to, not because of what you'll get out of it. If you're having a problem getting sex, it's not because of what you do or don't do.....it's because SHE has a problem, and maybe that needs to be looked into.

PS: Since you seem to be doing the majority of the "work" around the house, what does SHE do all day long?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:36am
HELL YEAH!! LOL Sorry, but I have gotten so used to being the one to do all that stuff, if my SO actually started doing all that, I would have no choice but to make love to him every chance he wanted it. Not that we ever really have that problem anyways, unless I am *dead* tired. But I would totally love it if I had a guy that did all that.
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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:43am
I already have sex whenever he wants. But your question depends. If my DH was a house husband, and I was working full-time outside the home, then why would he deserve any special favors for doing the same job I would do at home?

No, I make love with my DH because I WANT to, not as a reward.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:57am
Just wanted to know what other women thought. I do those things because I was rasied in house full of women that made keep a clean house so it is just natural for me to clean and cook. I'm not looking for sex as a reward but because I do all of the house work I don't understand how she is so tried and not willing to have sex with me. She and I both work full-time and my job has me working nights and weekends at times, but if she was willing to have sex with me I would do it. I know sex should never be used as a reward but don't you think with all of the free time on your hands you would find ways to impress your DH in the bedroom?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:12pm
Something else is going on between you that needs to be addressed. Could be that you're doing too much and she's taking you for granted. Wouldn't be the first time a spouse did that.

Talk with her, tell her what you'd like as far as frequency, etc. and ask for a compromise. IF she's not willing to make some changes, then counseling might be in order.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:31pm
Maybe you're spending too much time cooking and cleaning, and not enough time talking! It sounds like there's a problem here......and just doing your share of the chores and more isn't going to magically solve the problem.

If you're not getting as much sex as you'd like, then it's time to talk about it, and find out what her problem is. Or, maybe it's YOUR problem....you're not saying. Two different people, with two different ideas of how much sex is enough sex.

Maybe you expect more than she can give. Enough of the maybe's.....just talk to the woman and see where SHE's coming from, and figure out how to reach a compromise.

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