What's up with this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2006
What's up with this??
3
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 2:40pm
My boyfriend and I had a great, satisfying sex life... until we tried anal. Now it is like he is obsessed with it and normal sex isn't fulfilling enough for him. This has been going on for months and I'm noticing that our connection is diminishing and we are fighting constantly. I think something that is triggering this unrest in me is I feel like anal sex doesn't have an emotional connection like regular sex. He keeps saying that you have to try it a couple times until it feels good but seriously, we've been trying for months and I just am not a fan. And I don't feel like I want to have sex with him as much or at all anymore because I know he will ask or try anal. I've talked to him about it but he assures me nothing between us has changed, it's just something different. I even said I would do it but it was a treat but then he trys the most mundane reasons to qualify as deserving a treat. Is this something that can be overcome or do I need to throw in the towel because of this issue??
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 3:10pm

If you don't like it, you don't like it. Tell him you don't like it, and you don't want to do it anymore. End of story.......and if that's the end of the relationship, then there are other problems going on that you're not seeing or admitting to.

There are two of you in the relationship, and just because he likes it, that doesn't mean you have to do it.....and he WILL live without it. Or without you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 3:35pm
Give a man an inch and he tries to take a mile! It's your body and potentially your health and wellbeing at stake. You've been trying for months and to no avail, and have discovered that this is not for you. I've never done it and will never do it, but DH sure pressured me to "try it". My marriage also suffered because of DH's selfishness and let me say unsavory desires. Now DH well knows that I'd rather be divorced and celibat forever or just plain dead than have anal sex! Tell him "No More" if that's how you feel. If he can't respect your feelings and your wishes in regards to your body he doesn't deserve you. Tell him in no uncertainty in your words or tone of voice that his expectations for anal sex are no longer your concern and if he needs that for sexual fulfillment and satisfaction he needs to look elswhere. You've already started to withdraw yourself emotionally and physically from him because of his behavior and treatment of you so if he does in fact leave, you will be better off in the long run.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 5:51pm
IF this guy continues to put himself and his needs above you and yours, then yes, end it. He's telling you very clearly WHO is more important to him by ignoring your feelings.