whats going on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2005
whats going on?
2
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 3:01pm
Hi everyone, I dont usually post in these things but I need an outside opinion on my situation.
Im a 21 year old young woman and have been with my 24 year old boyfriend for about a year. I have worked with him for the past 2 years so it has been weird since he got a new job and I no longer see him everyday. Anyway, since we worked together, we only hung out once or twice a week because we saw eachother all day long. Well since he left our work, I still only see him once a week(when hes not hanging out with his friends, and neither of us like to talk on the phone too much, and its not like either of us are really busy people, so i feel like we're drifting apart a little. I know that this can be fixed but my real problem is the fact that whenever we do hang out, he never wants to have sex. Everytime I initiate anything with him he tells me that Im obsessed with sex and that its all I think about, making me feel like Im some sort of nymphomaniac. I understand that sex isnt everything in a relationship and I dont expect it to be, but it just seems weird to me that a 24 year old guy never wants to have sex with his girlfriend, who is more than willing. Its gotten to the point that we only have sex once or twice a month.
Ive asked him what is up and he completly shuts down whenever I bring it up.
Any clues as to what could be going on with him?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rinny1234
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 3:43pm

My 2 cents? Something is going on. A year long relationship is still the "honeymoon phase" for most couples, so it sounds like you ARE drifting apart or his interests may be elsewhere.

The "shutting down" you mentioned he does is avoidance....he's attempting to put off this discussion with you as long as possible.

Ask him what's up and to be straight with you. You deserve that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: rinny1234
Thu, 06-16-2005 - 5:36pm

Well, how often did you have sex when you worked together? Has the frequency changed?

I'd be inclined to agree with kat, it does seem that you are drifting apart and he is definitely avoiding a conversation by "shutting down". There is something that he doesn't want to talk about - be it your sex life or your relationship as a whole.