What's going on here?
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What's going on here?
| Sat, 05-19-2007 - 10:03pm |
Oh where do I even start? Long story short, 7 months ago I got out of a 5-year relationship and just started "seeing" a co-worker (who lives in another city). We've been working together for a few years and he is a someone I respect, and someone who has become a trustworthy friend. I have sensed interest on his part for quite a while but the mutual flirting just started a few months ago. One thing led to another and we are now sexually active, but I have no idea if this is the beginning of a relationship or a "friends with benefits" situation. I've broached the subject but got no answer. Obviously, I am developing feelings. I see him on business trips which have been quite often but for now I have no plans of returning for professional reasons. We are both very tightly wound and reserved, but I am pretty sure he likes me as an individual and sees me more than a sex object. In any case, we have had multiple encounters, and he didn't climax--at all. Yet we continued to have sex. He said it has happened before but not to this extent. In any case, last night he finally came--through my manual and oral stimulation. I would like to think that his "problem" was psychological, that he is slowly opening up and is feeling more comfortable and open to the idea of a relationship. Am I being ridiculous?

Hmm if I understand your question, you are asking about his problems coming to climax, and it sounds like he needs to talk to his doctor about it. It could be a phycal problem (ie body I know I am not a good speller) or mental or a little of both.
Jason
Hi and welcome mimi. As far as the relationship, I think that is something you need to discuss with him. Tell him how you feel and ask point blank what you have together. That's the only way to know. As for his problem, it could be psychlogical or it could be medical. He should probably talk to his doctor if it continues to happens.
How old are you both?
You're assuming a lot. His "problem" has nothing to do with whether or not he wants a "relationship" with you. They're two separate issues. Some guys just have problems with a new partner....and when they get comfortable with the partner, the problem goes away.
The fact that he won't answer when you ask him, says a lot. It says he either doesn't know himself, or that it's a sexual relationship with no strings........i.e.: FWB.
The best time to establish what a "relationship" is......is before sex comes into the picture. Now, you're not sure what's going on. If you want it to be more, then it's up to you to establish that with him. If he balks......then it's up to you whether or not you continue with a FWB, or you just move on. Do not "assume" anything.....if you want to know what it is, then ASK what it is. If he can't or won't answer you, that IS the answer.....it's nothing but a "convenience".
Welcome to the board mimijiminy1569.
I think the other members have given you excellent advice. At this point, he hasn't given you an answer. If it's important to you that this is a "relationship", then you really need to have a conversation with him outside of the bedroom.
There are many possibilities for his sexual dysfunction, so I don't think you can read too much into that.
my partner in the siggy exchange