What's his Deal?

Avatar for penguin110
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
What's his Deal?
6
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 6:20pm
I met this guy about 4 years ago and we have been talking/e-mailing ever since. He dissapears for months at a time but then will come back. Neither one of us talks about relationships or anything but when we are together it's obvious we both like eachother and the sex is great. But then after we see eachother and sleep together he dissapears and I feel used. My question is...if a man didn't care for his partner and it was just a hook-up for sex would he go down on her, stop when it hurt a little or have sex with her in the morning? I am just trying to figure him out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 6:51pm
Ok, first off stop thinking like a woman. Men see sex way differently than we do. Yes he would go down on you and do all that other stuff. Oral sex is not reserved for "love or Feelings" men like to come Period. If he is disapperaing with no conatct for months this guy soiunds like he is just using you as a hook up. Some one he can cal have great sex with an dmove on no strings... What a great situation for him. However, if your ok with being a hook up than thats fin , but from what your posting i'm guessing your not ok with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 7:32pm

>>My question is...if a man didn't care for his partner and it was just a hook-up for sex would he go down on her, stop when it hurt a little or have sex with her in the morning? <<

yes, yes, yes. Oral sex isn't an expression of feeling - they do it because they like it. Stopping when it hurts - that simply means that he's not a brute. Sex in the mornings...hell yes: he's horny and wants to orgasm.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 8:32pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2005
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:07pm
Unfortunately,he keeps in contact with u when its convenient for him..It's convenient for him when he wants sex. If he wanted more he would keep in contact with you for a relationship..He wouldnt disappear..(If hes saying hes interested then he's playing mind games). Im talking from experience. If u just want sex and ure okay with it then do your thing..However,if ure expecting more u prob wont get more..Use his past actions as the answer for the future..Men!! take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 11:57pm

What is there to figure out? It's a FWB situation. When he's between g/f's or whatever, he's looking for sex, you're available and willing. If you feel used, then you're being used. If you don't want to be used, say no.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:54am

You said it yourself....you feel used. He only comes around and makes an effort when he wants sex so I think the answer is obvious.

Stop attempting to justify your choice to be available he comes around and be honest with yourself. This is not a relationship. Find a guy you can depend on and build a REAL, adult relationship with.

This guy is an opportunist and you're just providing the opportunity!