What's up with me??
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| Sun, 08-12-2007 - 7:09pm |
Hi all!
I have just had sex! After nearly two years of being celebate, I did it. He's not my boyfriend, but a man I've been seeing for about two months. I don't know how to feel about it. It was a good experience; not groundbreaking or anything; I didn't even climax. It wasn't because of him because he was good, I think. I totally overanalyze EVERYTHING, so usually, I'd feel guilty and wonder whether or not he thinks I'm a slut. Does he think that? We're not in a relationship...not sure if we will be. You know, I've spent most of my 28 years thinking that things had to be a certain way in order for me to be ok with them. I have to be married or on the verge of marriage in order to enjoy physical intimacy. I think that's probably why I didn't really enjoy having sex with this guy. I keep asking myself, "was I wrong?" "Is this the last time I'll see this guy??" I've always been this way, though. I can't just enjoy sex. Afterwards, he wanted to cuddle with me and hold me. He asked me, "why won't you just lay down next to me..." I don't know why I couldn't do it. I couldn't stop moving...fidgeting. He slept for a while, I just layed there with my eyes open. He asked me to tell him how I felt, what I'm thinking. I said, "I'm fine..."
What do I do now? I feel so strange...not bad, but strange. Why is that? Shouldn't I be glowing or something?

Welcome to the board rivegauche79.
After I have sex, I prefer to feel good about the experience. That's not to say that I've never enjoyed a casual physical event or relationship, but I don't have sex unless it's what I want to do. Helps with the guilty feelings and all of the questions you're asking yourself right now.
You've been seeing this guy for about 2 months, so I doubt seriously that he thinks you're a slut. He's probably a little confused about why you were so distant after just having sex. You say he's not your BF, yet you've been seeing him for 2 months. It seems that you're building some kind of relationship with him. If you weren't really ready to have sex with him, or if you're unsure about having sex with him in the future, then talk to him about how you're feeling. Chances are, both of you will feel better after sharing your feelings.
Good luck, and let us know how things go.
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