I've seen alot of discussions on here about temptations, flirting, etc of married/committed women. Well I went the whole way. Five years ago next month (Jan 2001), I fell into an affair with a married man. I had been married for 11 years to my high school sweetheart. The other man (OM) was married for 3 years at the time, to his second wife, after his first wife and high school sweetheart had died in an auto accident. It was a 3 1/2 year affair, with phone calls, sex, intimacy, and even "I love you" spoken every day. I ended the affair in September 2004 after finding out that the OM had slept with yet another woman. All that time I was involved with the OM I truly believed that we were destined to be together, stuck in relationships that had come along too early in our lives and just waiting until our kids were raised to get out and be together. I was trapped in a love triangle - I loved two men at the same time. Finding out that I was one of many for the OM was devastating. Finding out that my husband had 2 affairs hurt less than finding out my OM had one! Yes, my husband had two. Here's what I need help with....my husband and I really do love each other, we have two wonderful children, a new home, great jobs, great families. My husband forgot his affairs quickly - they were just sex, no love involved - so he is loving me just the same as he ever has. I however, am having a hard time getting back into the groove. Before my affair I didn't know what sex was like with anyone but my husband. It was always just okay, never exciting, never stimulating. More like a wifely duty, than something I wanted to do. Now that I know that there can be love and passion in the same relationship (because my OM knew exactly what to say and do to make me just melt into him and I was on fire with him) I want that in my marriage. I've tried to explain to my husband what to do, say, and how to treat me to make me desire him, but he isn't that type. He just doesn't get it! I am to the point that to me sex is disgusting, pointless and hated. I do it out of duty to keep peace. I've been married 15 years now I truly want to make this work with my husband - I would never betray him again no matter what. I've been to countless hours of counseling, read many books, articles, been to discussions like this. I've never joined one - been to scared to. Has anyone out there been through this and if so, how does one get the desire back? How can I want my husband again and enjoy being intimate with him again? Am I just doomed to a so-so sexual relationship with the father of my children for the rest of my life? Any comments, ideas would be welcome.