whats wrong with him?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
whats wrong with him?!
2
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 9:08am
hello.
ive been seeing this guy for 4 months now..and we had sex after 40 days..but he always said that he doesnt want me just for sex and he really likes me and bla bla bla
we spend alot of time with his family and most of the times we r together,we r not alon so we dont have sex taht much ( once o week or less) he recently asked me if i wanted to marry him...
yesterday we were all alone with no one else around and he started kissin me and cuddlin and all the things to turn me on,he was turned on too and he was clearly hard! but suddenly he stoped! and did nothing..
why doesnt he want to have sex with me more often? is it normal???
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 10:57am

"Why doesn't he want to have sex with me more often?"

Sounds like a question you need to be asking HIM.

But it sounds like he wants to prove that he cares for you in a deeper way, that it's not just sexual attraction, but since he's asked you about marriage, that really doesn't seem necessary anymore.

There could be many reasons why he stops though. Fear of pregnancy, desire to wait until marriage, fear of performance failure, etc. etc. So, since this is your sex life, too, you have a right to know why he's not following through. And you have a right to ask for what you want.

Is there any reason why YOU don't take control when he "drops the ball" so to speak?

Explain how frustrating it is to be aroused with no follow through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 1:27pm

Is it normal? Maybe for him it is! You've only known him for 4 months, and you've only had sex once a week or less? Then he stops when he clearly shouldn't have? Maybe he's being honest, he's not in it for the sex because he doesn't have a very high libido. Despite the fact that you're with his family a lot, most guys would be sure to MAKE time for sex. He's not.....so maybe he's just not all that interested in sex, period.

And, it's WAY too soon to even think about marriage.....after 4 months, you don't even know him.....if you're questioning his sexuality, or sex drive.

As Katmandoo said, He is the one you should be asking about what he did. And if you say you can't, or you're too shy to talk about sex, then you shouldn't be doing it, and you for SURE shouldn't even think about marriage to him, or anyone else, if you can't talk about something as important as sex.