When did your sex life peak?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2013
When did your sex life peak?
10
Wed, 08-28-2013 - 9:30am

My partner and I have been together for nearly twenty years now and were discussing at what age we most enjoyed sex with each other. Now in our 40s we seem far more adventurous that we ever were - far more communication, sharing of fantasies, outrageous acts, and general kinkiness in terms of toys, role play and underwear. What do others think??

Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Thu, 08-29-2013 - 11:37pm

My husband and I are in our 50's, have been together 30 years and are enjoying the best sex ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2013
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 1:42am

That's fantastic to hear! But what are the reasons for this in your opinion? Has your openness developed throughout your time together? I'd be really interested to know.

Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 10:59am

We've always enjoyed sex together, but while raising 4 kids our relationship took a back seat .  Also, I was an extremely shy person with low self esteem.  It has taken me all these years to like myself and learn to share myself completely with my hubby.  Fortunately, he is a very patient man.  Now that the kids are grown up, we are rediscovering each other.  Working on our communication has helped us the most, and talking about our fantasies and being creative in trying new things.  We are having fun with  sex.  It also helps that menopause has increased my drive.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 12:33pm

I don't think there's such a thing as a "peak" when it comes to "pleasure".  Young men "peak" as far as their interest in sex is concerned.......that's all they think about.  That doesn't mean they know what they're doing, or even care.   Women are a different story.  Women don't have to be "interested" to participate, and many young women don't have a clue about good sex, they just think they have to participate to get a man of their own.  As women mature, IF they have a good partner, they will enjoy it a lot more.  Like the other poster, it took her a long time to lose her self consciousness and her inhibitions.  If the man is truly a good lover.....the "peak" can last forever.  I met my partner at age 64.  I'd never truly "enjoyed" sex, just participated, and also was more worried about pleasing them than my own pleasure.  I was suddenly treated to the most fantastic sex in my life, and 14 years later, it continues.  We certainly aren't as agile as we were in the beginning, but we're also not in a hurry, and slooooooow can be wonderful!  I've been in my "peak" for the last 14 years.  I'm still aiming to give HIM pleasure, the big difference is that he's giving me pleasure.  Forget the old 50/50 business.......when it's 100/100, there is nothing better!

Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sat, 08-31-2013 - 1:38pm

Very well said, Fissatore.  Also, I was fortunate to meet my husband at 22 who even then was concerned about my pleasure.  Being young and inexperienced myself, I didn't know what I wanted or needed, and couldn't have told him anyway.  Now with better communication, lots more self-knowledge and no inhibitions, sex is wonderful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
Thu, 09-12-2013 - 1:44pm
Last night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2013
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 6:10pm
I'm 48 this month and dating a wonderfully kind, beautiful (seriously, there is something about a woman my age-ish that takes care of herself and knows how to treat a man and knows exactly how she wants to be treated that is simply beautiful), open and adventurous 51 year old woman, both of us divorced about 2 years back and I honestly never imagined sex could be this amazing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Sun, 10-27-2013 - 5:25am

It is hard to remember exactly when it was, but about 10 years ago.  I'm 56 now, so late 40's.  I whole heartedly agree with you.  It's a wonderful time in our lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2013
Sun, 10-27-2013 - 5:15pm
Over 40 years with my wife and we still greatly enjoy each other. Sure, we are not as agile as we once were but we just adjusted to it. Still are into trying to learn things to make it better. I still think my wife is super sexy and absolutely can't get enough of watching her orgasm. No place I'd rather be than alone and nude with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2013
Wed, 10-30-2013 - 2:51pm

I'm 41 and definetely the peak is now! Part of it has to do with my divorce of 14 years in a bd marriage but I'm doing things that I never thought I would dream of and loving it!