When do I know.
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When do I know.
| Mon, 04-02-2007 - 1:16am |
Okay so my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year now. I've personally been ready to have sex for a while. He says he's ready and he's waiting for me, but then he also says he wonts to wait. I know he had a VERY active sex life with his ex (unfortunately) so I know he's not scared to have sex. I'm not exactly skinny and it makes me wonder if he just doesn't find me attractive enough to have sex with. I need advice on how to find out if he is attracted to me or not. Also I need advice on how to get him to sleep with me.
Help me!

As for initiating sex, you could always just pull out a condom when things are getting hot and heavey and give him a suggestive look. I'm sure he'd get the hint. OR just say "I want you now" or something to that effect if you're bold.
Hon, if he wanted someone skinny, then he wouldn't be with you for a year! Of course he's attracted to you, that's why he's with you. Being attracted to you, and wanting to have sex with you are two different things. Not all guys are hound dogs, and not all guys will push you into doing what you said you weren't ready to do.
If you've been with him for a year, then the two of you should be able to talk openly to each other, and if you're ready, then you need to just TELL him that. You told him you weren't ready, and he's not a mind reader, so he doesn't know you're ready now. You "get him" to have sex with you by telling him you're ready.
Maybe he learned from his last relationship that it's better to get to know each other well than to jump into sex too soon. And don't let the fact that he was very active sexually with her worry YOU......because you're a different person.
Start talking. It's called communication, and it's letting the other person know how you feel, and what you're thinking.
Good Morning and welcome to the board.
I agree with what the other posters have said -- he wouldn't be with you if he wasn't attracted to you. I think he's trying to respect you and wants to be sure that he doesn't rush you into anything that you are not ready for.
You can let him know that you are ready while things are hot and heavy, or you can talk to him about it outside of the bedroom. Since he has been sexually active in the past, if he hasn't had a healthy check (to be clear of STD's) then you should be prepared with a condom, and of course either way, birth control.
Don't let his past sexual activity intimidate you. Each person is an individual, and each couple has their own sex life -- yours will be different than hers. Don't try to compare yourself to her, or second guess yourself. Here's a link to a "Feel Good" article -- it will help you be sure that he is attracted to you (not that I think he isn't)!
Boost Your Body Image in the Bedroom
http://diet.ivillage.com/motivate/mimage/0,,Jessica%20Weiner_b77pvv7g,00.html
Let us know how things go.