While I was sleeping, my wife?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
While I was sleeping, my wife?
14
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:39pm

Should I be Jealous? What should I do..

The other morning I heard my wife get out of bed, then come back in bed. I was awake but didn’t move. Then I felt her take her pajama pants off and underwear and move closer.

Again I still proceeded to be asleep. So she starts playing with my penis over my underwear, My left arm was down by my side, I could feel her arm moving like she was playing with herself.

This went on for 30 minutes I think,. Then I pretended to move in my sleep so she stopped until she felt it was safe to start again. I then moved my left hand closer to her then she moved on her back and I could feel she was spreading her legs wider.

With my hand near her pelvic area she kind of shimmed so my hand fell by her vagina and she pressed my hand to her area, So I pretended to like Dream play with her and I could hear her whisper are you awake?

When I did not awake she really got into this, I continued to play with her for a long while,.. I startled and turned like I did earlier and then she moved and started to give me oral sex until I woke up..

I woke up and I said wow what a way to wake up. How long have you been doing this... She said I just started......!

So she ignores what happened and it seems like that’s the most passionate thing we have ever done... I now feel jealous of my sleeping version.....! What is going on?

Sex is awesome... We use a vibrator I never in my 14 years of marriage walked away from sex without her reaching orgasm. I give her massages, But whenever I go for her vagina she gets all upset and acts like it tickles and she hates it,...

In fact the day after this event I was giving her an erotic foot massage and I went to lightly caress her vagina she got all jumpy...

What should I do....? She used to do this about 5 years ago until I woke up one time and said I was awake the whole time. I regret ever saying that but this upsets me and makes me feel inadequate.

Signed, What should I do?
Joe Morgan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 9:34pm

What, exactly, are you jealous of?

I would guess that at least part of the reason that she likes doing this is because she doesn't have to feel self-conscious with you watching her. In a way she's having some very selfish time to herself before waking you up. She gets to have you and have you touch her yet she still gets to concentrate 100% on herself. She can masturbate without worrying about you watching her. She can direct your touch and your fingers to where and how she likes it too and she doesn't have to worry about reciprocating the feelings. There's also probably a small and vaguely taboo thrill of arousing someone that is "asleep".

Seems pretty harmless and down right enjoyable to me.

>>whenever I go for her vagina she gets all upset and acts like it tickles and she hates it,...<<

Maybe it does tickle and she does hate it? I can tickle myself and not get any reaction yet someone-else tickles me in the same way and I can end up on the floor in fits of uncontrollable hysterics. It's probably the same for her. She is controlling the touch when you are "asleep". She gets to choose when to touch your hand to her vagina - and no doubt she wouldn't do it if she thought that it would tickle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 11:34pm

You're jealous of yourself? That's a good one! YOU are YOU awake or asleep....and your wife wants you.....this is a BAD thing?

As Westridge said, maybe she's more able to be "herself" if she thinks you're sleeping, and if that's the case....is THIS a bad thing?

I don't get it! Do you think you were taken advantage of in some way? How about you were taking advantage of her...she THOUGHT you were asleep, but you weren't.

I don't see the problem. Lots of guys would love to have your problem, whatever it is!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 10:38am
What should you do? Stop acting crazy and consider it a compliment that your wife is so turned on by you! Asleep or awake, it doesn't matter. It was still YOU that she was reacting to! Alot of men would love to experience this with their wife...and vise-versa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:27am

I totally agree with the other posters - you are you no matter what, and she is obviously way into you! DH and I do this quite often, and I am sure we both play the sleeping *but not* role! It just adds to it for me, I can't speak for him.

Sit back and revel in what happened!!

 

 

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 5:32pm

Jealous? OF what? Of whom? Yourself? Her?

Look, she may feel more comfortable asserting herself sexually when she feels completely safe and in control. Could be the result of past abuse or some other trauma. That would certainly explain her reluctance to allow you to touch her vulva when you're awake.

So, what should you do? Talk with her. Come clean with all this and ask her to explain. You won't be able to understand if you don't ask.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 2:13pm
Joe,
Why don't you ask her to show you how to touch her pleasureably. Have her take your hand into hers and let her teach you..
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 3:07pm
You have me lost too!

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 3:19pm

Wow hey,.. Thanks to those who had helpful comments.. But some of you really have some anger issues..

I never said I did not like my wife touching me. I never said it was a problem! I simply was trying to figure out how I might have this experience AWAKE for both us, minus the inhibitions..

Thanks again for some of the helpful comments,.. The rest of you need to stop venting your own shortcomings in bed on the web!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joe,

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 5:46pm
Read your own post again. There's a reason why many respondants answered as they did.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 6:08pm

Sorry Joe but you did ask *should I be jealous* which made it sound like even though you enjoyed it, you were having a problem with it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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