While I was sleeping, my wife?
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| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:39pm |
Should I be Jealous? What should I do..
The other morning I heard my wife get out of bed, then come back in bed. I was awake but didn’t move. Then I felt her take her pajama pants off and underwear and move closer.
Again I still proceeded to be asleep. So she starts playing with my penis over my underwear, My left arm was down by my side, I could feel her arm moving like she was playing with herself.
This went on for 30 minutes I think,. Then I pretended to move in my sleep so she stopped until she felt it was safe to start again. I then moved my left hand closer to her then she moved on her back and I could feel she was spreading her legs wider.
With my hand near her pelvic area she kind of shimmed so my hand fell by her vagina and she pressed my hand to her area, So I pretended to like Dream play with her and I could hear her whisper are you awake?
When I did not awake she really got into this, I continued to play with her for a long while,.. I startled and turned like I did earlier and then she moved and started to give me oral sex until I woke up..
I woke up and I said wow what a way to wake up. How long have you been doing this... She said I just started......!
So she ignores what happened and it seems like that’s the most passionate thing we have ever done... I now feel jealous of my sleeping version.....! What is going on?
Sex is awesome... We use a vibrator I never in my 14 years of marriage walked away from sex without her reaching orgasm. I give her massages, But whenever I go for her vagina she gets all upset and acts like it tickles and she hates it,...
In fact the day after this event I was giving her an erotic foot massage and I went to lightly caress her vagina she got all jumpy...
What should I do....? She used to do this about 5 years ago until I woke up one time and said I was awake the whole time. I regret ever saying that but this upsets me and makes me feel inadequate.
Signed, What should I do?
Joe Morgan

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"In fact the day after this event I was giving her an erotic foot massage and I went to lightly caress her vagina she got all jumpy..."
...the key phrase being "...lightly caress her vagina..."
Chances are you are not giving her enough stimulation or pressure and "ticking" is the only way that she feels comfortable expressing for you to stop. She may not feel comfortable enough or is worried about your "ego" and how you would handle any "directions."
Do you really believe that she believes you are asleep? Particuarly since you "fooled" her once before? I doubt it. Either she is inhibited, protecting your ego, or she is simply acting out a fantasy (a harmless one at that). Sure, she could "discuss" the fantasy together, and you could "fulfill" it, but this is much more arousing and "real." The fact that you "play" along, shows that you like it....so it's all good.
What you need to do now is tell her how you feel. Tell her that you have been awake but didn't want to stop her from being so "uninhibited" because you enjoyed her "freeness" and how much it turned you on.
"Sex is awesome... We use a vibrator I never in my 14 years of marriage walked away from sex without her reaching orgasm. I give her massages, But whenever I go for her vagina she gets all upset and acts like it tickles and she hates it,..."
This is confusing. How did you manaage to give her orgasms without going for her vagina? If you did this via intercourse or oral and she is only reacting this way from manual stimulation, it's most likely one of two things: Either you're doing it too lightly and it's annoying her, or you're hurting her and she cringes at the thought of you touching her and just uses the "it's so ticklish" excuse. You said she masturbated in bed--and if she does regularly, then I doubt that she has a "ticklish" vagina....she's most likely just protecting your ego, even if it is at the expense of her own pleasure (many women are noted for this).
Most likely it's one of the two....it's not so far fetched for a woman to have "necrophilia" like fantasies where she is in total control to "use" your dead body (or is that mind... ;-) ) to her heart's content. I thought that this was a pretty common fantasy....on both ends. I've had both where I'm the one who is asleep or the one taking advantage of the sleeper. It's just about domination and submission.
Delve into all possibilities....talk, talk and talk.
Edited 1/6/2007 1:49 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
Rain Dancer,,,
Thanks for your input... Everything except the "necrophilia"..HA..
This as been really helpful.. in fact all of your comments have been very helpful.. I just have to make a decision either to confront her or let it be..
As for the Jealous comment.. I think that was the wrong word for the way I felt.
It's more like Jealous of myself, that I cannot make her feel that way while awake. I think I will do a little reading and re thinking the way I approach sex and make it more about what she needs...
Thanks,..
Joe
Well, unlike many of the posters, I _do_ see a problem.
The problem isn't one about pleasure. She likes what she's doing and you like what she's doing. The problem is one of communication. You'd like her to enjoy herself with you when you are actually present and involved in the act. That is perfectly understandable. I don't think it's necessarily wrong that she's pleasuring herself with your body but without your input; but it's not as good as it could be since you'd prefer to take active part in that enjoyment. (I know my boyfriend would be in the exact same spot. He gets more pleasure out of giving me pleasure than he probably does in any other way, for good or bad....)
I think you need to talk about it. I don't think you have to reveal that you were awake during these trists because it sounds lik eyou might regret it later. But you could discuss the fact that you really enjoy waking up to her pleasuring you but would like it even more if she woke you up when she was excited so you could participate in pleasuring her. Then you could ask about pleasuring techniques, etc.
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