Who do you talk to about sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Who do you talk to about sex?
5
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:05pm

This though just occured to me this last week... with all the stuff going on in my life... and my reaquiring a sex life. And through a FWB agrangment rather then a "real" realtionship. I've just really wanted to talk things out with someone but relized there wasn't really anyone i could talk to.

We don't work together but both FWB and i work within closeknit (i say inbred)community with in our city discretion is so important. So i can't talk to the girls at work like i would if this was anyone else.

Family... My mother that's just a big NO WAY. Sister not much better. Dad... definatly not. I may be an adult but my dad suffers from serious daddy's little girl syndrome.

Friends... of my friends there's only one who I talk about really intimate tings with... and she lives in another city now and never answers her phone.

So basicly i'm curious... Who do you talk to about sex? Is ther someone else i should have thought of?

k

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 1:42pm
Talk about sex in what way?

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 2:27pm

What do you mean "talk to"? About what? I never found the need to talk to anyone about my sex life except my partner. (no partner, no sex life to talk about, lol) I feel that my sex life is no one's business but mine and my partner's, and I don't care to share intimate details with outsiders, family OR friends.

Problems? If you can't talk to your partner, particularly if it's a FWB, then there's something wrong. Two people having sex should be able to discuss sex, too. In a FWB there aren't any "feelings" to be hurt, it's just a convenience, and should be easy to discuss sex if there's a problem.

There's always these boards, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:29pm

Hadn't thought that much on it.... in my case at the moment not so much detailed discussion. More someone to just listen to me rant of all my thoughts, worries, emotions about my sex life at. Someone who will listen to it and offer actual constructive feed back rather then look at me like i'm nuts and make some comment how they don't think they could manage sex with out a relationship(that was my roomamte.)

Suppose it's kind of a silly question anyway.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 4:58pm

First, I will talk with my DH but I used to talk about some things with my mother. Since she's passed away, I occasionally will go to a close GF who is discreet. However, I NEVER discuss anyone but myself. I don't discuss my DH or our sex life together, just issues with ME.

Have you ever considered journaling? It's a great way to get your thoughts out on paper and sometimes, just seeing them in black and white can clarify things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Wed, 10-19-2005 - 5:26pm

This though just occured to me this last week... with all the stuff going on in my life... and my reaquiring a sex life. And through a FWB agrangment rather then a "real" realtionship. I've just really wanted to talk things out with someone but relized there wasn't really anyone i could talk to.

We don't work together but both FWB and i work within closeknit (i say inbred)community with in our city discretion is so important. So i can't talk to the girls at work like i would if this was anyone else.

First off what is "FWB"? I don't mean to sound insensitive to all who wrote before me, but even the best of marraiges/couples whatever have problems, joys you just want to share. Perhaps it is because I grew up in a small town where you got a speeding ticket in high school and your mom knew before you got home. Like I said I agree if you sleep with them you should at least be able to talk with them, but divorce hapens every day and just before and just after most people need to get things off of thier chest, and we don't want to hear it from family and friends tell us one more time s/he was a mistake. That is not to say I 'kiss and tell' but I have been with my current sweetie for about 8 years and I still have questions, like about the idea women don't want to tell us what to do, but if we don't know trial and error only goes so far, etc.

Sorry for the vent.

I tend to confide in a few far away internet friends, for the really intimate stuff, boards like this, for some stuff. A real good friend is hard to find! Sometimes that is a same sex person, an opposite sex friend, sometimes a pet, sometimes sadly I just keep it in because my close group is very few so if one is busy that may be the only one for that problem and you just have to deal with it alone for a while. I have learned sex is not always the act but it often does start by the little things like doing the dishes, trash, or whatever is special to the other and sometimes those little things get screwed up to ruin the sex itself.

Jason

jason.jpg picture by Casey28zs