Who does the "work"
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Who does the "work"
| Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:14pm |
I'm a middle aged woman and have had several relationships. I have received minor complaints from my past two short-term relationships. Each said something similar. Has lovemaking changed over the years? Basically, I spread my legs and hold them up in the air so the man can penetrate, move and do his thing. I can orgasm if a man moves up in the CAT position to contact my clit. Each said I should take a more active roll by pushing back up and squeezing them. Did I encounter two weirdos, or am I not doing sex correctly? I always thought it was a man's job to please his partner and himself, by letting the man do all the work. Do other women lay back and enjoy their men, or are they more active?

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From a guys point of view, by all means lie there and enjoy what your man does for/to you but don't just lie there to the point of doing nothing. I remember at university some of my male friends referred to girls that just lay there doing nothing as "starfish". They just lie there arms and legs spread doing nothing in particular.
I'm not saying that you have to bounce around the bed and swing from the chandalier. Just make some noise, or grab his hand or bicep or push back a little - anything will do. It's just that a totally unresponsive woman is about as sexy as doing it with a still-warm corpse.
I don't usually meet him on the thrusts and I don't squeeze him either. I relax during sex. I listen to my body and do what I think works at that time. Intercourse, like any other sexual act, is not predictable. One day it feels incredible and another, just OK. If I'm extremely aroused, then I'm naturally tighter, and even then, I may be too lubricated to get the friction required. It's all a hit and miss.
I have with my SO, tried to squeeze him(consciously), and strangely, he has a harder time climaxing than if I just relax my muscles. So to answer your question, no; I don't meet him or squeeze him. Other than woman superior, he does all of the thrusting during intercourse. I do direct him as to how I think I want it at the time(slower, harder, etc.), but that depends on whether or not I have already orgasmed or not. If I feel as though I may orgasm, he stops doing what feels best to him, and does what feels best for me. But, if I don't feel an impending orgasm, he controls the rhythm and thrusts according to how his penis feels.
Participation during intercourse for us doesn't translate into who is thrusting and who is kegeling ;-), participation is gauged via a slew of other methods.
>Was there any foreplay involved? If so, in what capacity?
Sure there is lots of foreplay, holding, and kissing. I usually get on top for 69. I love to expose myself and feel his tongue, as he loves to have my play with his boys. My men have almost always been on top. That leaves them to determine the depth and rhythm. It's not like my hips are free to move around much. I just enjoy the penetration as that's the only way I can cum. And, just one time.
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