Who is more to blame in having an affair
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Who is more to blame in having an affair
| Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am |
Who is more to blame in having an affair
- The "other" woman/man
- The one who is in a relationship
- Both parties involved are equally responsible
You will be able to change your vote.


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If it is a friend of yours and they sleep with your husband, also family, a sister, either one would be worse than bad....
I'm not saying if you don't know the woman it is ok, but if you are her friend or family I think that is really crossing lines that should put a target on your azz!!!
who_reallyknows
I disagree entirely. The 3rd person can "go ahead anyway" all they want, but if the person in the relationship turns them down, it's totally irrelavent. The affair only begins when the person in the relationship says "Yes". If that never happens, there will be no affair.
Now, what you can say about the 3rd person is they are not your friend, but that 3rd person cannot cause the affair. They can only suggest an affair. Again, the only person that can cause the affair is one of the people in the relationship.
A person IN a relationship who has affairs is lower than low. A person who willingly has an affair with that person is JUST as low. Because one isn't attached doesn't absolve them of responsibility.
Westridge's post about the "affair" which in reality was a one-night stand, NOT an affair...the girl knew he was married....so you're saying she's not at fault in any way? It sounded to me like she was after this man, and granted, he was weak for going along with it, but SHE is the one most at fault. There are women (and men) who will purposely go after a married person.....why, who knows. Maybe it's because they just want sex, and no involvement, and a married person is "safe".....they can't BE involved, unless they want to risk their marriage, or relationship. Maybe it's just plain selfishness, they want what someone else already has. We all know the flesh is weak, and add some alcohol, and a convenient hotel room.....they're BOTH at fault! The "single" one for pursuing, or being willing, and the attached one, who can't control themselves.
I say both parties are equally responsible with the exception of the "other" man/woman not knowing the other person was in a relationship.
I think the blame is mostly on the cheater, but a healthy dose of blame can be allocated to the "cheatee" as well. It is much much much more likely that one will cheat on his/her SO if there are problems with the way that person is behaving in the relationship.
OTOH, there are some guys who simply like "conquering" women and I suppose they could be in a perfectly good relationship and still do it. In fact, my bf is exactly that, but it's the subject of another thread.
This could take the cake for "Most Absurd Post of the Year." Yeah, sure, blame the woman who is cheated on BUT not the 3rd party woman who knowingly acts to disrupt a relationship.
""""""I disagree strongly. I've never been involved with a cheater, but I don't think the third party is at all at fault. He or she owes no duty to her counterpart in the relationship. Sorry ... that's just not the way the world works. """"""
First, the third party DOES owe a duty: A duty of common decency and respect.
""""""If I were attracted to a married guy, there are a lot of things to think about for sure, but one of the things I would _not_ bother to think about is whether I owed anything to his wife ... because I would not. """"""
Well, that's because you're a sociopath. Some people, those with souls and consciences, particularly, may have some moral compunction about doing something like that. That you don't is frightening.
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