Who is more to blame in having an affair
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Who is more to blame in having an affair
| Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am |
Who is more to blame in having an affair
- The "other" woman/man
- The one who is in a relationship
- Both parties involved are equally responsible
You will be able to change your vote.


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This all or none outlook about respect etc is a pretty juvenile way to view the world. If a woman is sleeping with another woman's husband and she phones her house and harasses her, then that is definately more disrespectfull than if she had not done that. Of course that is the case. Sheesh.
To the poster who said that a one night stand is an affair: No it's not. It is adultery and cheating but by definition not an affair. An romantic/sexual affair is a relatively long term ongoing relationship outside of marriage (either premarital or extramarital).
As for my opinion on this issue
Responsibility of cheating spouse: Most (obviously since they are the one who made a comitment in adition to whatever duties of respect owed to others. They have just as much of this responsibility as the extramarital person).
Responsibility of the third person: Some, It is important to acknowledge that one spouse doesn't "own" the other as has been suggested. They are their own person, and their relationship is not the responsibility of the third party except to the extant that it is a selfish to sleep wiht someone elses partner.
Responsibility of the spouse that has been cheated on: some (but usually less than above)
- This person has a responsibility to make help make the relationship one in which their partner can find comfort and hapiness and fullfillment. In some cases they fail and should be prepared for the relationship to suffer and all that entails.
JMHO
-phat
If a woman calls the man she's cheating with's home, she is NO MORE disrespectful than had she not. In fact, I would probably interpret it as a friendly gesture...you know...sort of a 'heads up.' I'd probably thank her.
"To the poster who said that a one night stand is an affair: No it's not. It is adultery and cheating but by definition not an affair. An romantic/sexual affair is a relatively long term ongoing relationship outside of marriage (either premarital or extramarital)."
There are many affairs that are based ONLY on SEX and last for months. There is no love, simply lust. For me, I see no difference in having sex once or 1,000 times...the same, the same, the same.
As for your opinions, the wife may be responsible for none, some, or all of the problems in their marriage, but she is certainly NOT responsible for his decision to have sex with someone else. The other woman is not responsible for his actions either, however, the truth of the matter is, if there were no "other woman" to be had, then there'd be no cheaters. If there were no "other woman" then what you'd have left are those who have to face the piper....either fix your marriage or get out.
Since when is stating your opinion lecturing? Obviously you two don't agree, but there is no need to label it a lecture because you don't agree. I have not seen her say anyhting about you personally, so don't get so defensive. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ok I don't think you should disagree with their disagreement!>>
Well, I don't think you should disagree with my disagreeing!! LOL
Leticia
That's funny coming from someone who has posted WAY more than me on this thread :P
Leticia
To overlook, forgive, or disregard (an offense) without protest or censure.
How is it that you can have sex with another woman's husband, commit adultery, and then say that you don't condone it? If you walk the walk.....
You're not changing the world...in fact, prostitution is one of the oldest professions in the world. In fact, did you know that since the 1960's(the sexual revolution), prostitution has been on a steady decline. The most logical reasons I could think of is that men are getting all the sex they could possibly want, and women are insatiable! Of course, the infidelity rate is high, but that's just the aftershock of the sexual revolution. Many women who didn't get to experience sex for just sex, don't want to die only having one sexual partner(like many young men feel), and many of the men are cheating because they want intimacy(much like many women). The roles are reversing it seems. My theory is that once all of this works out, society will be in a better place. Many young have good values today. They know that they have to work hard towards a good career and that can take years. Both sexes(have the same choices) will have a good mixture of sowing their oats as well as developing relationships with the opposite sex, so that when they're good and ready to settle down, they'll savor the intimacy and physical love of what true relationshps are all about. For the first time in history, men and women will have come from similar sexual backgrounds(sexual freedoms) and many of the sexual hang-ups of the past will be just that, a thing of the past. So, your opinion that the other woman shouldn't be held responsible for the husband's cheating is one of which I agree, so it's not "different", just as prostitutes are not different. They've been around since the beginning of time. Obviously, if more men are cheating, it's not with prostitutes(or prostitution would have increased not decreased), it's more with the average woman, because the average woman has finally "come out."
Edited 9/9/2004 1:23 pm ET ET by sexismyforte
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