Who is more to blame in having an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Who is more to blame in having an affair
144
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am

Who is more to blame in having an affair



  • The "other" woman/man
  • The one who is in a relationship
  • Both parties involved are equally responsible


You will be able to change your vote.



bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:20pm
Sorry I just get annoyed with ignorance!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:23pm
Yea, but how many years you been on this board?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:24pm
Yea, same here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:27pm
Less than 1, same as you.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:35pm
One more thing, Phat....I don't think that people who cheat are the devil. I just feel that they don't love me in the same capacity that I love them. That's why I made it very clear to my husband that I could never patch up, if he should cheat. I could never feel loved again in the way that I would need to be, so it's over. Doesn't make him a bad person, just not someone I could remain married to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 1:39pm
Apparently you don't get annoyed with ignorance, because you keep talking...

Did you not just say, I don't condone cheating- and yet you still sleep with other people's husbands! You are a walking contradiction

edite to add- this message was not directed at Yarnlover, I posted to the wrong person


Edited 9/9/2004 1:48 pm ET ET by skeehn2000

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 6:30pm
I agree with the statements made by Carla. I am not saying that husbands are blameless. But how many of you women have been told by married men that they are not getting the attention they desire from their wives? True or not, it is the perception that many married men have. I read someplace that it is difficult for women to balance between being a wife and being a mother. Unfortunately, my wife decided to be more of a mother.

As some of you know, I gave up long ago. I got tired of sleeping on the edge of the bed. Whenever I brushed up against my wife in the middle of the night, I was told "don't touch me." When I came home from a difficult day at work, and really needed a hug, she was more concerned about doing the kids' homework for them (they were "A" students) or with the dinner burning. All I asked for was a quick hug, not an hour in the sack. (By the way, she wanted to be a stay at home mother, and my income permitted her to do so.) It was her choice that we could only do things as a family, never she and I as a couple. Watching television meant everybody in the master bedroom, even when it was very late and I had to get up early the next morning. She actually encouraged the kids to be in the master bedroom at any time of the day or night. Sex (and it was no longer making love) become once in a while on Saturday mornings - just stick it in and get it over with - and don't make too much noise - you might wake the kids.

It would have been quite different if she had said that she was "not in the mood" and just wanted to cuddle and at least pretended she was interested.

Even her close relatives advised me that I needed a girlfriend - it was that obvious to them.

I consider the marriage vows to have been broken long ago - by her.

Because of the emotional stress over the years, I doubt that I will ever be able to have a physical relationship with another woman. AND I will definitely never have any type of sexual contact with my wife again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 7:09pm
Notgettingany's post proves -- or at least kinda/sorta proves! -- my point. Would you blame this guy if he decided to go out and screw some other women just for fun? Let's be real. If true, this leads me to conclude that any adultery would be his wife's fault. I dunno ... kinda thinking about getting married but this situation sounds intolerable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 8:18pm
If he cheats on me, I'm out, gone, done. I would never stay with him for security reasons. And who knows? He may! I may! Ya never know. We're gonna give it a try which is all anybody can really do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Thu, 09-09-2004 - 8:42pm

Notgettingany's post proves... nothing really. I read his post, and a lot of it I understood and can relate to. However, (from Tish's post) I didn't read any faulty things about himself in that post. I did cheat once, not a sneak type cheat, but I broke our vows first without a doubt. Remember if you are going to use the term (break vows) most vows

  

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