Who is more to blame in having an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Who is more to blame in having an affair
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Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am

Who is more to blame in having an affair



  • The "other" woman/man
  • The one who is in a relationship
  • Both parties involved are equally responsible


You will be able to change your vote.



bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 11:18am

because if it wasn't me, it would be someone else? Sure, that's probably true. However, do I think so little of myself that I would use that excuse? It might as well be me as some other bimbo?


Sorry, but I'd rather it be someone else who doesn't have any self respect.


If liking sex, and having sex with someone you feel is compatible with, makes you a bimbo, Yeah that is what I am I guess. I don't think it is really that bad a thing, to be honest. I don't think safe sex is a bad thing between two adults.


I really don't think it is a matter of self respect either, I like sex I don't think I'm disrespecting myself by having it.


  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 12:13pm

<<


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 1:14pm
*shrug*
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 1:58pm
Also:

> I also think if it were you who it happened to, you would be singing a different tune. > Why else would you keep mentioning your ace in the hole to keep your FWB away from the > friend that was flirting with him.

I don't think it's the same situation, and in a way this goes to my point. Just because my bf likes to have sex with another woman once in a while, that's not cheating -- he isn't trying to hide it. It would just be ridiculous to be mad at her -- she hasn't done anything to me ... she did not wedge her way into our relationship; AFAIK she knew him before I did. Nor have I ever felt a desire to call her up and gang up on my bf. I just don't think he has done anything wrong. There have been no lies told. It's not illegal, immoral or fattening: he just likes to cum, and he enjoys being around women, and that's that! I'm not sure under what moral theory I could deny him what he honestly likes, at this point. I find it hard to be mad or sad about it. It sounds wierder than it is. Nonetheless, this is admittedly different than a marriage, because we have not gotten to the "commitment" point (... _I'm_ committed but that doesn't mean he is yet).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 1:59pm
You go right ahead and rationalize all you want to. A man (or woman) who is married, and cheating is giving his/her partner enough disrespect, so it's nice of you not to add to that disrespect.

Also, if the cheater is disrespecting his/her partner, do you imagine he/she has ANY respect for the one on the side? Respect doesn't enter into it....a "quickie romp" is all that they're looking for.

Some day, when you're married, or in a relationship, and you find out your partner has been cheating, come back and tell us how you feel THEN. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that the 3rd party meant you no disrespect, and that will make it all okay!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 2:13pm

Tish,


Our conversions seem

  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 2:47pm

<


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:30pm
i was talking about the attractive friend you asked about who was flirting with him, whom you said you had an edge on her(which I don't even think would work) because she doesn't do oral. I wasn't talking about the other woman that you know about who he is also having sex with. The fact that you weren't liking what that friend was doing leads me to believe that if you were in a situation where a spouse cheated, you wouldn't have the same opinion that you do now.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 3:36pm
..

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 4:32pm
Fortunately it's not my friend that he's screwing. That would be intolerable. Agreed, let alone whether we were spouses or not: cheating -- that is, lying -- would not be something I would ever put up with. In this case, I try not to think too much about it. Although I do worry a bit about STDs; we've never used protection and I have no idea whether he does with her. In any case, except for that possible issue, I can live with it for now -- we'll see where it goes.

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