Who is more to blame in having an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Who is more to blame in having an affair
144
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am

Who is more to blame in having an affair



  • The "other" woman/man
  • The one who is in a relationship
  • Both parties involved are equally responsible


You will be able to change your vote.



bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 7:44am
Christy, as long as you and your b/f have an agreement that he and/or you can see other people, I won't argue with that, that is your personal business, BUT I will argue with the protection or lack of.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:52am
OK, mom ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 1:30pm
Forgive me all for not getting through 100% of the complete replies, but I have a couple of cents anyway. Interesting thoughts shared thus far, VERY impressive message board with the personnel we have in here, and respectful (for the 'most' part) too.

I'm more on the side of the "blame" question myself. Regardless of whether she knew the culprit or not, if I had a lady in my life who chose to cheat for whatever reason, then I'd STILL uncontrollably fool myself into blaming the party involved unless that other party didn't know she was hitched. Thats the emotional side in me that just can't be snuffed out.

Speaking from the sane wisdom regarding who is to blame for the affair...I just really don't get into convincing myself that it matters I guess. If it happens, then both need to be dealt with regardless. Now this of course is in regards to my thoughts of committed relationships that are NOT open. It really is interesting to see the different viewpoints on this subject. In fact...

...NO, I personally do NOT consider different views on this as being anti-societal, for lack of better term. Different lifestyles that may even conflict with long-standing morals in our society may simply be a sign of the times changing , so in today's world it really is too difficult in my opinion to determine anymore what is a sign of change and a sign of being anti-moral or anti-society. The morals many of us uphold are not the cornerstone of society's views anymore like they use to be...so thats part of the changing ways that we're still living with more and more everyday. Not saying I accept it, but its just an observation.

Needlesstosay, for those in this world who do not see anything wrong with open relationships, emphasis on the word , then my only message to them would be to STAY AWAY from my wife...for you own safety of course...LOL!!! SERIOUSLY!!!

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 2:06pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 2:58pm

  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2003
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:39pm
I don't follow your logic. I dated a married woman last year for most of last year and felt only the mildest, if any, remorse. She was a trophy wife of a much older millionaire. It was certainly great for her, mentally and physically. Pure chemistry. She was actively looking for a partner and we got together and it totally clicked. Her husband had basically emotionally abandoned this amazing, beautiful person. She would even tell me that her friends thought someone must have been taking care of her sexually (which was true) ... she looked that much more radiant. I didn't feel too bad for the husband. He would have been SHOCKED to know even a fraction of what we did. Certainly about the hottest, most perverted, most uncompromising sex I've ever had. Amazingly, she never got caught, and the thing just kind of petered out. I think she is still married to the guy.

I really don't think that makes me a sociopath. The other poster has never done it, just telling you how she thinks she'd feel about it if she did, and you're calling her a sociopath. Well, I have done it, and I thoroughly enjoyed it and don't feel that I'm a Bad Person because of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:43pm
a one night stand is still an affair....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:46pm
You say you don't owe anything to the wife- what about decency to mankind? To much blame is taken off the other person. Granted yes I believe the one who had a commitment should be held accountable- however if you know someone is married- I think you should be held accountable not to sleep with that person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 4:20pm
<<...(I'll Ask, Do you know Tish? it doesn't matter if it is you or not I'll be out of there)

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 4:50pm
I voted BOTH. Meaning, not the person they are having an affair with, but the other spouse. If you're husband or wife has an affair, there is always something wrong in the bedroom. Something. Either one party is not getting enough or being satisfied or not at all. When two people are keeping each other happy in the bedroom, you don't usually see an affair. Sometimes. A lot of people think it's the person who DECIDES and CHOOSES to have an affair, but they would more than likely choose NO if they were happy and satisfied at home. (There are always the exceptions, but)

Some men I have been with who have been married have wives that no longer have sex with them. They really should just get a divorce, but they don't. $$$ no doubt.

The person they choose to have an affair with ... they don't really care about EITHER married partner. They don't care at all. They want and are going to get their needs met, one way or another.

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