Who is more to blame in having an affair

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Who is more to blame in having an affair
144
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 11:03am

Who is more to blame in having an affair



  • The "other" woman/man
  • The one who is in a relationship
  • Both parties involved are equally responsible


You will be able to change your vote.



bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 5:17pm

I disagree with you on that.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 5:25pm
OMG, I really didn't need a lecture, girlie. Ok? Please. Let people speak their minds and that's it. There is no one person who has it all right and all correct. That's my opinion based on many experiences with many a married man. Simple as that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:07pm

I wasn't lecturing,


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:08pm

I agree with most of your statement, I feel like there are more people who cheat just to cheat than you seem to think, but for the most part I agree. I do have a question however. You made a commit about (the married men you've been with) Do you look for married men?


Some men I have been with who have been married have wives that no longer have sex with them. They really should just get a divorce, but they don't. $$$ no doubt.

  

   who_reallyknows

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:18pm
No, I don't. They seek me out. They ask their friends, etc. I entertain married and single men as well. Although ..... it looks like my lifestyle will be changing within a month or so.

All I know is the majority of men DO seek sex outside their marriages -- even if it's just a couple times, several times, or just once. They cannot seem to resist the urge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:25pm
Yes I do. Most times, the man is telling it like it is - for HIM. In his wife's mind, their relationship is either fine, comfortable, happy enough - for HER and she thinks ... her husband. A man or woman carrying on an affair or having a few sexual encounters with someone is being dishonest about THAT lie. It does not make them dishonest in ALL situations in their life.

Some men are just plain out horny and want to get laid really, really well and can't at home. So ....... that does not make them dishonest people in every area of their life? No. Sure, there are some scumbags out there who are dishonest and disloyal in everything they do, but most are just guys who can't get any further along in their sex life with their wife and want to take it up a couple notches. That is the truth. Straight from the horses mouth, so to speak, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 6:47pm
"Some men I have been with who have been married have wives that no longer have sex with them. They really should just get a divorce, but they don't. $$$ no doubt"

I, sadly but admitedly, was one of those wives. Not that I never had sex with dh but, it was much more rare than he liked. Our relationship was (and is) great outside the bedroom.

I know you may feel that it is niave of me but he did not have an affair during that time. He found ways to pleasure himself when my libido was low. He was patient and understanding. He knew that it was not my intention to neglect his sexual needs. We talked, joked and even cried about it often.

Not getting your sexual needs fullfiled is NOT an excuse for having an affair. When desires clash communication is needed more than sex!

Danielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 8:04pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 8:10pm
Not ALL men are cut out for an affair. If they can find a partner fairly easily, they are more likely to go for it. It's not ALL men. But most won't go for long, extended periods of time without sex unless they are 1) Really in love with their wife and trying to save their marriage 2) Have religious hangups 3) Can't find it without having to pay for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 8:13pm

No Danielle, you are not niave for "knowing" your husband didn't have an affair during that time.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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