Why are facials degrading?
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Why are facials degrading?
| Sun, 08-06-2006 - 8:28pm |
I have seen many posts that describe facials as degrading to a woman. Why is that? I've always asked a partner if I could cum on her body before I did it, and wouldn't do it without permission. What is it, though, that makes a facial particularly objectionable? I don't see where it's any more degrading than cumming in her mouth, or on her breasts, etc.

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But remember, Gigi, many men would look at that situation from a purely MALE viewpoint and assume that the girl is enjoying herself and NOT being used.
They would imagine themselves as a 16 yr. old BOY being ravaged by several grown women and not think it's a crime but a fantasy.
So, since men seem to sexualize women's reactions to be in line with their own, they might not see it for it actually is...a crime. It's far too commonplace for any other explanation.
Kat, yes, that makes sense...but I'm not sure that that is what we are discussing.
A man on another board here where I lurk (Feminism Today) actually claims that all men are capable of rape; and that the only thing that stops them is compassion and empathy (and of course the law).
What I'm trying to decipher is, is this some type of innate behavior linked to sexual appetite? Can the male libido cloud all reason or cause men to rationalize a situation?
Even still, what about the men who watched this happen? And didn't Westie use the example as an example of humiliation? I thought that he specifically used it to prove the point that a LOT of men purposely humiliate. My question is where did they get the idea from? Is it taught or is it inborne; and even if it is taught, is the propensity also inborne?
Edited 8/15/2006 7:18 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Obviously, I was referring to REAL life. Two actors being paid to simulate sexual ecstasy is one thing, real life is another.
The fact that so many men want to see this at all is the real question to me.
Edited 8/15/2006 6:59 pm ET by katmandoo2001
"But remember, Gigi, many men would look at that situation from a purely MALE viewpoint and assume that the girl is enjoying herself and NOT being used."
Yes, they may project, but I also think that some men "empathize" with other men as well....and that's why may be apathetic to women. In other words, it's possible that they may not help (as in the case of the bystanders) and often will condone bad behaviors (men brag to one antoher) because they understand the strong desire to have sex.
What I alluded to in my first posts to this thread is, is there a difference between the sexes? I'm trying to imagine... I think that the typical female may not have as high a libido as does the typical male (as far as frequency), but does that negate the "strength" of the two sexes' libidos? In other words, I can't imagine six horny women gang banging a 16 year old inebriated boy. (not saying it's never happened, just that I don't think it's as common) Why? What is the main difference?
Edited 8/15/2006 8:45 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
The reason that you'll never see six horny women (isn't that an oxymoron? LOL) having sex with a single man is because they all can't make an emotional connection with him at the same time.
I actually came across two situations similar to the one described by Westy when I was in high school (we're talking about the mid 60's here). Although the girls were both 15 or 16, the boys were all high school kids too, although most were probably 17 or 18. As far as I could tell, neither of the girls had been drinking and their primary motivation for 'pulling a train', was to see how many guys they could have sex with in one session. I didn't know either girl, so I have no idea what their real motivation was, but I do remember that they both seemed to be enjoying themselves. As those were the only situations where I had first-hand knowledge of high school kids having sex, I assumed for a long time that the only reason a high school girl would want to have sex was because she suffered from low self-esteem and thought that letting boys have sex with her was the only way she could get attention from boys. Actually, I think I still believe that, LOL.
"I didn't know either girl, so I have no idea what their real motivation was, but I do remember that they both seemed to be enjoying themselves."
Sooooo......you were either a participant or an observer (at least it sounds as though you were there).
Well....as a girl (and woman), I did know more about a few of these girls then you seemed to have, and I assure you, they didn't do it because they truly enjoyed it...it was in fact because they had low self-esteem, and wanted to "please" the boys/men. However, the best way to describe it, is very much like being on a merry-go-round....going up and down and nowhere. They do it to get boys to like them, but they know deep-down that it's not the kind of "like" they desire....and they also understand that they are being used. So they feel worse and worse about themselves for doing it, and so they do it more due to their own self-hatred. Tell me....what exactly would a girl get out of this? Certainly no boy would date her? Certainly her badly tarred reputation will destroy any self-esteem further. What girl would get any "enjoyment" out of that? What girl/woman would get any enjoyment out of an act that in and of itself breeds disrespect from not only the men who participate, but from anyone who learns about it? As I said, any woman who get enjoyment out of being used as a receptacle and for being looked down upon, has major issues. How anyone could be a party to such an atrocity is truly disheartening.
I forgot to add something:
My husband at 20 was at a party, and a 17 year old girl also got drunk and was being railroaded. You know what he did? He picked her up, carried her on his shoulders, and drove her home.
I was an indirect observer in both cases. One situation involved a girl having sex with boys in the back of a van parked down the street from a party I was attending. I remember seeing the guys lined up outside the van and when she took a break to go into the party to get something to drink. The other time I walked into the situation at a friend's house while his parents were away. At one point the girl came out into the living room to count how many guys were waiting. I remember being horrified when she counted me along with the others. Needless to say, I beat a hasty retreat, LOL.
So, tell me. Other than a desire get attention from a boy and having low self-esteem, why would a high school girl let a boy have sex with her?
"So, tell me. Other than a desire get attention from a boy and having low self-esteem, why would a high school girl let a boy have sex with her?"
Actually, I never said that a high-school girl *letting* *a boy* have sex with her meant she had low self-esteem and a need for attention. That's completely different from doing a train.
"I remember being horrified when she counted me along with the others. Needless to say, I beat a hasty retreat, LOL."
Really Rice? You expect us to believe that.... ;-)
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