WHY ARE MEN JERKS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
WHY ARE MEN JERKS?
9
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 4:53am
Last night I called my booty call of almost a year to hook up like we usually do. He is in the Coast Guard and travels alot. We hadn't seen each other in over a month (which is normal). He was in town and asked me if I wanted to come over and hang out so I said sure. He told me to call him at 11pm(it was 8pm then) and we could hook up which is our normal routine. I went to call him a little after 11 and his cell phone said customer is not accepting calls at this time. Of course he didn't call. Why couldn't he have just said he didn't think we should hook up anymore, instead of inviting me over and then being unavailable? I have wondered if he was married even though I have never seen any evidence. Please tell me what you think went wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 7:27am
First of all, let's not

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 7:39am

When you find a proper boyfriend, who loves and respects you - you'll find that not all men are jerks ;-) There are some really lovely men out there who want real relationships. However, if you're not ready for a real relationship, be prepared to be jerked around.

Unfortunately, you can't get the benefits of a FWB without the pitfalls. The fact that neither of you has to answer to the other can have some not so nice repercussions too.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 9:03pm

"his cell phone said customer is not accepting calls at this time"

This could be caused by a dead battery, or because he turned his
phone off(on purpose or accidentally) or because he was out of
reach of a cellphone tower or part of the network was dead or he was
inside somewhere with poor coverage. There are a lot of technical
reasons why his phone might not have been working. So don't jump to
unkind conclusions.

Now besides the technical issues he's only your FWB, as you say, a
"booty call", so why wud you expect 100% performance-on-demand ??

Mr. Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 11:07pm

Let me say that I agree with Tish and Alisha. This guy may be a jerk, but not all guys are. You are in a FWB relationship with him (which sounds like you want more) and he for whatever reason decided he had something better to do (Or he was someplace his cell phone didn't work). I am not going to comment any more, except to say, that when you get a committed relationship, hopefully you will realize that all guys are not jerks.

CH

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 11:03am

Whoa...talk about jumping to conclusions! How do you jump to him being secretly married or wanting to end the arrangement simply because his phone isn't "accepting calls at this time?" Ever heard of rolling over and turning the phone off by accident? Or even turning it off out of habit?

You have an equal arrangement, I assume, where you can call him when you're in the mood? Unless he just calls you when HE needs some relief, which means this arrangement is for his benefit primarily.

Why not go over there and ask him what happened?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 3:15pm

Sexy princess,

The problem here is a simple one: You have accepted (willingly I assume) a situation where neither of you has ANY comittment to the other and that you are each acting like a sexual toy for the other. Don't be surprised if he mistreats you (if in fact you haven't completely jumped to conclusions...which is possible). Basically, if you want a sex toy, get one with batteries and if not, then don't expect that he treats you like anything but a sex toy.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
Wed, 05-25-2005 - 10:17pm
I once called my boyfriend, and I heard that exact message. You'll get that message if your friend is late on his T-Mobile payment. He probably didnt mean to leave you hanging like that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 3:30pm

That you're making assumptions?

Perhaps he forgot? Or he got busy? Maybe he shut his phone off? Who knows? He's just a booty call and nothing serious. Drop him and move on to bigger and better things

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 05-26-2005 - 9:36pm

Not ALL men are jerks...just most of them. But, it sounds like you need to find someone that likes you so much that he can't help but be nice!

Well...good luck.