Why did that turn him on ? Guys insight
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Why did that turn him on ? Guys insight
| Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:48am |
Hi
Not sure if this is where I should be posting this. Just that I am curious about something. I've been with my man for 6 months and the other night we went to a sex spa, very clean and decent.
Anyway we were both curious and hooked up with a couple. My BF was giving me head and this other guy was touching my breasts, they then swopped postions.
It was very erotic and my boyfriend said this turned him on.
I was just wanting to know if this would turn any other guys on and why ?
Thanks

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It's not a turn on for Dh or for me.
>>So, what way do you think men's attitude changes at the 10 yr mark or age 40/45? <<
I'm with you, tish. I doubt that it changes with age. I think that it's something that you either like or don't like regardless of age. I _suppose_ that some guys might have matured and become more aware of their sexuality (or something....!) and be interested in exploring more options at that age, and feel comfortable enough in the relationship to raise the subject, but I doubt that it's something that you suddenly find yourself wanting at age 40.
To the OP, although I've never been in that situation, the idea of it does turn me on. I suspect that it's something to do with getting an ego-boost from the idea that another man would find you sexually attractive yet knowing that you are mine. There is also the thrill of knowing that you are getting turned-on and experiencing pleasure in a way that I, as one man, can't do for you. And there's a voyueristic thrill of enjoying watching other people (one of whom just happens to be my wife) have sex. It's difficult to put my finger on the exact reasons.
I think in reality I would probably get jealous or feel too insecure or threatened to go through with it.
Some here mentioned that they'd question their partner's motivations and commitment. I don't think that is necessarily an issue. I think that two people can be in a committed relationship and enjoy this sort of thing. It's just that their view of sex, love and commitment are slightly different than other people's views. I really don't think that it's an indication of less commitment.
I'm with tish on tis one. The other man/ woman wouldnt live long enough to tell the tale.
My husband has gone as far as firing an employee because he found out the guy was making comments about me to other co-workers that "Randys Wife is hot, If I get a chance I'm gonna hit that"(other co-workers told my husband as they are friends and respectful of me)
I cant say for sure If My Husband has or hasnt ever fantasized about having another woman in our bedroom with us... all I know is he has never vocalized any such desire and in our early years it was pretty much understood that any sort of sexual contact with anyone other than him wasnt acceptable to him or me for that matter.
My Husband had a 3some (MFF) before he met me, the details I have heard are pretty boring and the way I understand it, he was uncomfortable with the situation and ended up leaving. I had a 3some before I met my husband and have to say I've had much better experiences with a single man than that.
I know 100% for sure my husband would not find anything about another man having a sexual encounter with me arousing.
Edited 9/11/2005 6:43 pm ET ET by allbluff
>>My husband has gone as far as firing an employees because he found out the guy was making comments about me to other co-workers<<
I guess the other co-workers didn't like the guy if they dobbed him in to the Boss. I would have thought that it was interesting legal territory that your husband found himself in firing someone for private and personal comments to other co-workers about the boss's wife.
I can see two sides to that argument - one, that if it was during work hours then any "communications" you have with co-workers is on the bosses time and disrespectful comments about the bosses wife could be considered disruptive and sexist therefore you're open to getting yourself fired. Two, that a non-work related private conversation between staff members where one was passing comment about a sexually attractive woman (who just happens to be the boss's wife) is not actually affecting anyone's job performance and dismissal would have to be considered unjustified; and would open the Boss up to being sued and paying reparation and damages.
I suppose that there is a third point of view and that's that the Boss should "toughen up" and accept that in his position that there will be some talk about him and his relationships amongst employees and provided it isn't malicious gossip then he should just get on with business and stop being so sensitive.
I know that in this country with our labour laws that it would be the second side that would win in the courts.
first of all this was a new employee and with that being said there is a 90 day evaluation period involved with new employees, during which time employment can be terminated by employer or employee for a wide range of reasons, includeing "Hey I dont like you".
Given the fact that the man on many occassions insulted and degraded the boss, Made sexist comments and sexual reference about the bosses wife, and I'll add he was a moron and hard to work with - My Husband had every right to fire him.
I'm sorry but IT IS grounds to fire someone when its personal. You dont have to employ someone you find offensive and that disrespects you and your family.
There is No law that protects employees who make sexual comments and advances towards co-worker's family members nor is their a law that says my husband has to employ someone he despises.
My Husband is a Young White Male, The employee was a young white male, My husband was respectful of the employee the employee chose to be disrespectful - he's fired. No Problems for my husband ever occurred.
I would have loved to see this guy sue the company for this... "Yah Judge, I said a bucnh of nasty stuff about his wife and him and how I'd Like to Nail her, so what? He should still pay me even tho I am disrepectful to him and co-workers and thier families"
>>firing someone for private and personal comments to other co-workers about the boss's wife. <<
the comments are no longer private when spoken to Co-workers at work during work hours, personal remarks that offend and degrade others are unexceptable in any work environment.
Edited 9/11/2005 7:02 pm ET ET by allbluff
Dh had a FFM threesome when he was in college.
:-)
I'm not disagreeing with you. I'd be pretty pissed about it too. I was just kicking it around.
We've got to the point over here with out left-leaning goverment that you cannot even be dismissed during your 90 trial period without damn good reason and going through a whole counselling session and being given chances to improve. I think it kinda defeats the purpose of a "trial" period in the first place, but hey, I'm just an employer, who am I to say what I think is fair in the employment process?
>>the comments are no longer private when spoken to Co-workers at work during work hours, personal remarks that offend and degrade others are unexceptable in any work environment.<<
Just curious, but do you work for the company? If you don't, I could just see the lawyers jumping over that and saying that while offensive remarks about other employees is completely unacceptable, those anti-harrassment and anti-sexual harrassment employment rules in the workplace do not apply to comments made about people that are not employed in the workplace.
Look at this for an example of the "stuff" that we employers have to deal with over here: I had a young guy take me to court because I gave him notice, and dismissed him for offensive behaviour - he told me twice to "Fcuk off" in front of staff and customers on a busy night when I asked him to stop talking to his g/f who was sitting at the end of the bar. The first time he was told in NO uncertain terms that if he was going to try that sort of behaviour with me again then the door was over there and my boot was happy to help him out it.
Although I won, it cost me several thousand in lawyers fees, time off work, and stress to prove it. Their argument was that I hadn't followed proper procedure of warning him, making it formal, putting it in writing (you have to document even verbal warnings here) allowing him time to get representation if he wanted it. I hadn't sat him down in my office and discussed it with him and his representative and clearly presented him with what behaviour I expected and spelled out clearly achievable standards. Nor did I give him satisfactory amount of time to remedy his behaviour because he was under stress on a busy night and I hadn't done my duty as an employer to minimise workplace stress on my employees.
What was the job? He was one bartender of six not including me on a busy Saturday night and it was a holiday job for him while he was attending university.
>>Just curious, but do you work for the company?<<
Yep I sure do, I dont work in the store tho and many employees that are new dont realize I work there. I work from home (I do the web design) and come in out of the store often not only for personal reasons (my husband works there) but for business reasons as well.
Edited 9/12/2005 1:57 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
With the right woman, there is a feeling that she is letting loose of the expected female careful restraint, and letting go of repressions, giving in to something taboo that is for her pleasure..Essentially, it is seeing your proper woman getting so wantonly lusty she is doing something she might herself call sleazy in polite conversation, but is willing to share with you in private, or semi private..
Hey, the pressure is off, you can always blame the other guy...! Seriously, if your not making a dumb ass porn that tries to show it as two guys using a woman for themselves, the real threesomes Ive been in or talked to people with experience are about pleasing the woman beyond the usual ability of one man. You may be fulfilling a curiousity for her, simultaneosly filling her in two places, but you can also while your at it take the time and delay your own orgasms by switching around and give her more stimulation than shed ever get from single lover that wasnt manufactured and have batteries. When younger, a roommate and I didnt even bother delaying or trading off, our recovery time was so good that when one of us came the other was ready, and after 6 hours, his 9 times and my 8, the girl who thought she would show us something new could only moan and call us bastards for turning her game into our competition, and she loved it..
Lets see, two ear lobes, two bautiful breasts and nipples, two luschious buttocks, definitely both a mouth and vagina that are wonderful pleasers( and my wife with shivers admitted that while it wont ever happen, the thought of adding a third is frightenly erotic.)
There are some societies, from primitive to medival, in which sexuality was considered in a much differnt light, and it was even an expected hospitality. If the threesome is yourself and wife and a friend, because of this historical perspective, and some real life events, its can be a faciful playacting of a different culture. One where a host is honored to provide companionship for a guest, the companion is pleased to have such a pleasant job, and in some cultures, honored guests were served by the hosts wife herself.
The idea of a friend coming for dinner and drinks, watching a moive, and then my wife with or without me happily seeing he is sexually satrisfied has a strong appeal.
Do you think thats because for 20 or so years I was the bachelor friend that on vaction or for a weekend visited his married friends and family, and virtually all my friends are married to women almost as fine as my wife?
Hmm, taboo but more common than youd believe, men are actually curious about other mens equipment. Most I suppose just in comparison, some in bicuriousity, but a lot in a confused eroticism based upon years of masturbating and learning to love their own cocks, and the natural then curiousity of how a different penis would feel to held and pleased. Homophobia and nuturing teaching us this natural curiousity is BAD, being in a threesome gives us some intimacy with another male that is not as threatening as simply masturbating together if thats not occured naturally.
And finally, the incredible gspot back to back rapid fire multiple orgasms that send my wife into near epileptic seizures and then unconsciousness. Which after 5 mins rest, and a few mins on the toilet where each drop of pee sends her another orgasm, she comes back wanting more....Ive been there 2 or 3 times myself, and a partner would be most welcome in the quest to give her that, and more pleasure, more often.
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