Why do guys care about girls sex #?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2005
Why do guys care about girls sex #?
17
Sun, 02-06-2005 - 9:57pm
I am a 24 (male) and have slept with 22 girls, only 1 was in a relationship, a few in casual relationships, but most one night stands. i'm dating this girl (22) now who has slept with 4 guys, two were out of relationships (people she was seeing), zero were one night stands, but i feel like i can't be with her. This feeling went overboard when i found out she did a sex tape with her ex-boyfriend. Now i just see her as no different from the rest of the girls i've been with. She really seems perfect for me, but my ego/mind isn't letting me be with her the same way i was before i found out about her past... I know i'm wrong, anyone got similar problems, or insight into my issue?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 12:38pm

Willaz,

I've found that it's not helpful to judge yourself in any situation. We are all doing the best that we can at every moment. Best to just observe your behavior and notice when it is not of use rather than labeling yourself as dumb, bad, stupid etc. etc. Labels tend to shut you off from the flow of what is really going on beneath patterns.

We develop patterned behaviors to fulfill needs...at some time in our life (usually early on) those patterns served us...now they are anachronisms. So be thankful and embrace those patterns and then let them go.

Be aware and all will be well.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 8:45am

WOW I'll say this...You've got guts! The double standard is alive and well I see. Women can and should sleep with any man THEY want to as long as they are wearing a condom. Numbers should not matter. Your feelings for this woman should be the only thing that makes you stay or go but if you can't get passed her # which is extremely low then you need to go. How petty of you to treat her so badly over 4 of which you say she had meaningful relationships with 2 and the other 2 weren't 1 night stands. I'm sorry if I seem to have a problem with this but I do.

My number is very high but as soon as I was in a relationship the one # that mattered was the 1 I was in love with. My husband and I have been married 9 years and I have never cheated (can't say same for him) but those other men that came before him don't live in my mind anymore they are just the men before him. They have names not numbers and they don't have a place in my marriage, pregnancies, or life.

Get over yourself little man. 4 is about as close to virgin as you'll find these days so if you love her let it go!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 12:41pm
Tupper great post! I`m curious...Is your husband the best sex you have ever had? I think that men who cant get over their womans # , its because that cant stand the thought of someone being a better lover than they, comparisons scare insecure men.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 2:53pm

First of all I think the biggest mistake made is that you both talked about how many lovers you have had in the past. This shouldn't be an issue. I totally agree with the person who said that how many lovers one's had is on a Need To Know basis. I mean honestly how many is too many ? Can someone tell me that ?

I think that you have a double standard going on, why is it ok for you to sleep with 22 women and it not be ok for your girlfriend to have made a video with someone that she was seeing before you ? She has only slept with 4 men in the past !! Count yourself lucky !!there are not too many woman out there that have only had 4 lovers in their past at your girlfriends age !!! And for you to compare her to the ONE NIGHT STANDS that you have had !!!!! Well........... I don't even want to go there !!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2005
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 3:10pm

Humpdaddy~

Yes, my husband is the best. No, he's not the biggest. He is the only one I truely felt want to please me along with himself rather then just himself.

~Kelly
www.kellyfitzpatrick.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 4:47pm
tupper, looks like you found yourself a considerate lover...not all guys are selfish jerks in bed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 6:09pm
Well my friend in my case is the opposite, I want to know what my wife did before we were toguether because is sexy, erotic and hot for me, but first I thinhk she has not told be the everything and second I would not consider bad what ever she did, why?
What is the difference? I do not know the only thing I know is that I whish she had something to tell me about her experiences with other man...
Stupe.

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