Why do guys cheat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Why do guys cheat?
17
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 6:15pm

This was a hot one that is being shared across much of IVillage:


Why do guys cheat? Tell us what you think about men and fidelity.
http://ivillage.opinionware.com/owuser/marieclarie/polls/noresults/050131_cheat.htm


Whether you're taking the survey or no, feel free to share your opinion anyway.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 4:37am
hi cl-issytish,Bellina sends greetings! Well luv,I'm quite in agreement if there's any sexual problems between 2 in love,they should communicate this openly,without feeling judged.If both are uncomfortable sharing what turns them off'/on in sex/foreplay,then by all means seek counseling,working to become more intimate in the boudoir.As well as out of itt,perhaps one partner is having problems at work,health issues,feels tired,this makes sex a chore in lieu of pleasures,loving expressions diminish.Men generally cheat if they're looking for things that the wife/galfriend is uncomfortable doing(perhaps one loves,oral,and the partner prefers lots of foreplay/leading to intercourse).These are some differences that should be resolved early on for any loving,intimate relationship and good sex life to exist and grow with every month,year,etc..Sorry if I'm going on,but believe there'd be less mens cheating/infidelities if couples could resolve their sexual/intimacy preferences..Hope this makes sense..I'm a believer in trying to stay together in love,unless that love has truly ended,and not merely due to sexual tensions..Believe 2 can work things out before sex and intimacy becomes nonexistant,causing the cheating...Bellina
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 12:13pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 6:38pm

Of the ones I know who have cheated, the majority have been men, but that doesn't mean that women *don't* cheat, because they do. And we all know that they do.

But it was so much easier for the men to leave the house and family to give them the time that they needed. With the W or GF there to watch the kids, pack the lunches, do the bath and bedtime routine, do the laundry, etc, it was a much easier thing for them to slip out for whatever reason. One friend discovered that her Dh was having an affair for a long time, but he said he was out hunting many afternoons and Saturdays when in actuality he was seeing someone. But it would have been much harder for her to have unaccounted for time, with little ones to care for, a home and a job. She never questioned her H's absences because he had always been an avid hunter and it's pretty hard to check up on someone out in the woods. I think much of it is a time issue and having that opportunity - at least in the situations I've been aware of.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 7:08pm
Okay, I see your point.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 3:25pm
I don't mean to be a pain in the ass, but if you weren't getting what you "needed" why didn't you just work with the woman rather than step out on her? Wouldn't it better to improve sexual relations with one person rather than many? I honestly don't know how you or anyone can justify cheating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 3:27pm
A relationship should never be a scoreboard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:03pm

Lucky you! When my kids were very little, I had to quit going to the gym, because with DH's work schedule (and to be honest, his bowling, hunting etc schedule), I had no time. I wouldn't leave them at daycare a minute longer than I had to and once I got home, I had too much to do - and wanted to be with them too much - to go anywhere! Luckily, in the past few years, with the kids older, I've had time to do something I want to do (dance.)

I always figured one man was enough to try to keep happy, lol. I could never figure out how the mothers of young children could possibly find enough time or energy to try to juggle two!

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