Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...
53
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:51pm
I am so frustrated with my boyfriend because I have NOT had a orgasm in 3 MONTHS. When we do see each other I'm pmsing so we usually do anal sex, or I give him a bj, and I SUFFER. Well he promised tonight we would see each other because we were both off tomorrow and we could spend a lot of time together. Well he text messages me saying "baby im sick, my chest is hurting, blah blah blah." And i was sooooooooooooooooo mad bc all i could think is "OMG another month without sex." Next week i start my period so even if we see each other i wont get any. I know he cant help hes sick, but its like EVERY WEEK something comes up and we cant see each other and FINALLY when we do im pmsing. I feel neglected, unwanted, and just frustrated. Most men would want to have sex even if they were half dead. Since we started dating i went from 100 pounds to 120 pounds, and its all went to my thighs n butt. I feel fat and im wondering if hes not attracted to me. He said it wasnt that and he was attracted. But how am i suppose to feel when every time we are suppose to see each other and he cancels? I just feel unwanted. When he texted me, i got so upset, that i kept getting upset at work n crying. He said he would make it up to me and he was sorry and missed me. But i just feel neglected and i just feel like ripping his clothes off n taking advantage of him. We went from having sex every week to, hardly ever because of his 3 jobs. I CANNOT wait til he quits one of them. The only way he can make this up to me is by spending a entire weekend with me, pampering me, and paying attention to me. I feel like its unfair because I MAKE SURE he gets plenty of orgasms. He got some last week when we saw each other, but i didnt bc we didn't have time or space to have sex or for him to go down on me bc he had to go to work n we was in his car. So i gave him a bj bc i wanted him pleased. I just dont think hes making the effort to please me. What do you guys think? Am i over reacting or what?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 11:45am
Sorry I haven't posted in awhile because Im guessing me and my boyfriend are over with. He hasnt called in a week. He hasn't tried to message me in a week, when i call leaving messages with me crying he doesn't return them. He hasnt officially dumped me, but I dont want to be with him because of this. I don't understand why he has done this, I dont understand. I dont know what I did wrong. And i cant believe i was stupid and thought I could trust him. I can't stop hurting and crying because I dont understand why he did this. He told me he cared and he told me he missed me but he still hasnt called and hes ignoring my messages. He didn't even have the balls to call n break up with me. He just has left everything unsettled and I dont know where we stand right now. I dont even know if hes alright or whats going on. But he has no excuse for not calling me for a entire week. He has never went this long without calling. I just dont know what i did wrong. I dont know. I just feel stupid for trusting him and thinking he cared. Dont worry about the birth control because Ive already decided Im not having sex with a man again til im married. And im not trying to get pregnant while im in college. I just dont understand, he seemed to care about me and want to be with me. He promised he would never just blow me off and he he said he never breaks up badly. And hes not even treating me like a friend. I just dont understand and i cant stop hurting and i cant believe i feel this way. I dont know what to do. I just dont understand. I wish i would stop hurting and crying. I cant believe i trusted him. I thought he cared and he doesnt. I dont understand. I get so upset i get sick, and i just dont understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 12:06pm
Sorry to hear that Southern Strawberry and the only thing you can do is take it as one of life's experieces and move on.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 12:29pm

I know I'll get over it eventually and I'm glad I found out sooner than later. What bothers me the most is that he hasn't called. I want to be friends with him, but he hasn't even called. So I don't even know if he wants that, or even wants us to break up. The only way I would take him back is if hes been deathly sick, which I doubt. I think its best we take this break too bc he needs to get his life back together. He quit school for a semester and now hes saying he wont be going back til summer. So i dont know, i dont want to be with someone who doesnt have a degree. I've already ordered a new vibrator, and I do want to be friends with him. I just think Im better off not dealing with men (in my boyfriends case, little boys) for a while, especially with me in school bc im considering getting my doctorate. Besides most of the men I meet are immature.

Off subject but does anyone have problems with there vibrator making their fingers go numb? I use to use a silver bullet and it would make my fingers go numb after a while because of the vibrating.

Also about depo provera it took my friend a year n half before she could get pregnant, she was on it for 5 years. At first she had problems during her pregnancy, but that could have to do with age n other factors.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 12:45pm

<<>>


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:35am
I dont want to marry someone who has not finished college because it would be hard to raise our children because of money issues. So I want to be with someone who is working on getting a college degree or has one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 11:00am

That's not necessarily true.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 5:16pm

>>College degree doesn't always equal more income. <<

Completely off topic now; They don't always mean that a person is particularly intelligent either. I think that I gained one of my degrees with an absolute minimum of intelligence. The trick is to find out what the people grading your papers have to think about a subject and then to regurgitate that stuff back at them in your papers.

You're right too. Having or not having a degree seems to make little difference to the success of an intelligent, sensible person. In my social circle it is split about half degrees and half not, and some of the wealthiest are the ones that don't have degrees. Life can be a funny thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 11:39am
The city where I live is mostly manufacture and most of the plants are going overseas. And the other jobs are in retail. And then most of the rest of the job here are medical because we have a mental institution for people that are harmful to themself n others, a hospital, and a place for people that have mental disability but are not harmful. That is the main reason i want to marry someone with a college degree. Yes i know that some people go to college and do not get jobs, but it also depends on how bad you want that job if you are going to get it. That is my opinion. Where I live you have to have a college degree to get a job. That is why i want a educated husband, that is MY preference. That is just something i looked for in a SO. And if i have children i want to be finacially stable, and i WILL be finacially stable, because i will work as hard as i can until i get to that position with or without a husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 12:02pm
OK, what I look for in a man is that he is intelligent and does not take the easy way out, and has a college degree. That is my preference, sorry if you don't like that, but I want someone who has goals and intelligence. I don't want a moron who took the easy way through out college (no offense to anybody that did), that is what I like. I won't change my preference either, because where I live if you do not have a degree you are either working in retail, manufacture, or welfare. And occasionally we have a few business that actually do great. I live in a small town that is mostly medical. And i want a intelligent man, with a degree. Who believes in something and is willing to work for it. And yes i would date someone who is successful at what they do too even if they dont have a degree. I just want someone whos intelligent and has goals. And is successful in what they do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 10:22pm

>>OK, what I look for in a man is that he is intelligent and does not take the easy way out, and has a college degree. That is my preference, sorry if you don't like that, but I want someone who has goals and intelligence. I don't want a moron who took the easy way through out college (no offense to anybody that did)<<

Frankly, I DO take offense to being called a moron. It may surprise you to know that I do have goals and intelligence - and two degrees. What I was saying is that the education system doesn't measure intelligence very well. It is EASY for ANYONE to get a degree if they do the basic work. NOONE needs to be particulary intelligent to get a degree. I'm not saying whether or not that is a bad thing, or a good thing. I am merely making an observation. How about thinking before you type and insult someone next time?

Oh, BTW, my IQ is roughly 165 too.