Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...
Find a Conversation
Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...
| Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:51pm |
I am so frustrated with my boyfriend because I have NOT had a orgasm in 3 MONTHS. When we do see each other I'm pmsing so we usually do anal sex, or I give him a bj, and I SUFFER. Well he promised tonight we would see each other because we were both off tomorrow and we could spend a lot of time together. Well he text messages me saying "baby im sick, my chest is hurting, blah blah blah." And i was sooooooooooooooooo mad bc all i could think is "OMG another month without sex." Next week i start my period so even if we see each other i wont get any. I know he cant help hes sick, but its like EVERY WEEK something comes up and we cant see each other and FINALLY when we do im pmsing. I feel neglected, unwanted, and just frustrated. Most men would want to have sex even if they were half dead. Since we started dating i went from 100 pounds to 120 pounds, and its all went to my thighs n butt. I feel fat and im wondering if hes not attracted to me. He said it wasnt that and he was attracted. But how am i suppose to feel when every time we are suppose to see each other and he cancels? I just feel unwanted. When he texted me, i got so upset, that i kept getting upset at work n crying. He said he would make it up to me and he was sorry and missed me. But i just feel neglected and i just feel like ripping his clothes off n taking advantage of him. We went from having sex every week to, hardly ever because of his 3 jobs. I CANNOT wait til he quits one of them. The only way he can make this up to me is by spending a entire weekend with me, pampering me, and paying attention to me. I feel like its unfair because I MAKE SURE he gets plenty of orgasms. He got some last week when we saw each other, but i didnt bc we didn't have time or space to have sex or for him to go down on me bc he had to go to work n we was in his car. So i gave him a bj bc i wanted him pleased. I just dont think hes making the effort to please me. What do you guys think? Am i over reacting or what?

Pages
I think
It's fine that you have preferences. Everyone should have preferences. I agree with what other posters said. I'll just throw in my two cents anyway...
You are really looking at three separate qualities:
1. college degree
2. intelligence
3. goals
Having one of these qualities doesn't mean having all three.
Westridge I apologize for calling you a moron, I shouldn't have. And as far as you having goals and intelligence I never said you did not. It seems like you only read the moron part and that is it. Like i said before where I live if you DO NOT have a degree you will not be successful, you will either work in manufacture or retail and break your back the rest of your life.
I'm sorry if you do not like the fact that I want a intelligent man that worked hard to get through college. All of my life my parents have pushed me to get through college and find a man who worked hard to get through college bc they wanted me to have better than they did. And im sorry if you don't like that but oh well.
I also said that I would date a man that was succesful at what they did even if they didn't have a degree. And let me repeat again, the reason I have my preferences is because you have to have a degree WHERE I LIVE to be successful otherwise you will work in manufacture or retail or have a company go bankrupt. If you do work in manufacture it is NOT a stable career because jobs are being sent overseas.
"I don't want a moron who took the easy way through out college."
When I say that I am NOT talking about people who did not go to college, I am talking about people who cheated through out college and did not bust their butt to get their degree.
NO where is my post did I say that people who did not have a degree were not intelligent.
"I won't change my preference either, because where I live if you do not have a degree you are either working in retail, manufacture, or welfare."
Did you even read my entire post or did you just read the moron part? Like I said before WHERE I LIVE if you do not have a degree you will not be successful, because WHERE I LIVE the only jobs are medical, manufacture, and retail. Where I live it is mostly furniture factories, textile mills, steel plants, and that is it. Most of our electricians come from another city, not from the city I live in. To be successful where I live you have to have a degree. Most business here either have no business and barely get by or end up filing bankrupt. If you work in manufacture your job is not stable, because most of those jobs are being sent overseas. Who do you think a person is more likely to hire? A person with a degree or without a degree?
No where in what I posted did I say or even put forth the idea that I even think people with degrees are better or more intelligent than people without degrees. My father did not get a degree and he is working his butt off everyday and yes he makes good money, but it worsens his health. My brother did not go to college and he got a great job making lots of money and couple of months after having the job he messes his back up and has to go through physical therapy.
"A degree does not make you better or more intelligent than anyone else."
I believe when it comes to certain subjects people are smarter than others. Ex. electrician in his field is a lot smarter than me. However, would the electrician be smarter when it comes to microbiology? No because he hasn't studied that. So people are smarter than others when it comes to certain fields.
Also my friend is a electrician and he is going to college, and he moved up high in the company faster than people that did not have degrees. He started out taking orders, now he is a supervisor of a very large company.
You can criticize the fact I want a person who went to college, and is intelligent, has goals, and worked hard through college all you want, but I will not change my preferences, and I have my reasons.
I don't know what your problem is and I seriously do not care, but what you posted is rude. I had no problem with his working and him doing what he needed to do, but our relationship was already having problems because we only saw each other once a month occasionally more, and we talked on the phone a couple of times a week, and I was fine with that. What made me angry was when he would cancel dates after making me promises, that was rude and he should not have made the promises in the first place. I gained weight because he asked me to and when I did I stayed in shape, but I thought he might have changed his mind about me gaining the weight. If a man cares about you he will make the effort to call and see you and I DONT CARE if hes got to work ALL the time, there is no excuse. AND the way he broke it off with me was childish so don't even go there and defend him when it comes to that. He did NOT have enough balls about him to tell me to my face he wasn't happy, and if he was NOT happy its his own fault for not saying anything. If you wanna play games go find a little highschool girl because blowing someone off and not calling them for 2 weeks is inconsiderate, rude, and childish; ESPECIALLY when he told me he was having chest pain and was very sick. I worried for 2 weeks wondering if he was alright or sick. AND I WAS ALWAYS there for him, when he was having money problems I loaned him money, I PAID the room to be with him, when he had family problems I WAS THERE, I supported him throughout everything, and when he was depressed I cheered him up, and I loved him, and he knew I would DO ANYTHING for him. So don't say he dumped me because I was fat or asked for to much. All I ever asked was for him to TRY to see me more often and he would promise to see me and would CANCEL.
AND if you want to go to the generalization that all women ask for to much, I generalize and say that most men can't keep there eyes and penis where they belong, but Im not going to go there because that would be STUPID. DONT sit there and tell me I want a prince charming and all that crap. I want a man that treats me with respect, not like I DONT MEAN CRAP TO HIM, and I have to beg for him to see me, if he cared about me I shouldn't have had to beg, I shouldn't have had to cry every night because he made me feel like nothing. You don't know me so don't tell me that he dumped me bc I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or thin enough because you don't know crap about me.
I do not want a workaholic but I do want someone to be successful at what they do. You do not have to be a workaholic to be successful
>>I do not want a workaholic but I do want someone to be successful at what they do. You do not have to be a workaholic to be successful<<
First of all, I agree with most of what you posted to dextar. I think that he was expressing a slightly more extreme point of view than perhaps was necessary, but I can certainly see some of the logic that he made in some of his points.
Your statement that I've cut and pasted above. It's true to a degree. And I think that your situation with YOUR b/f had gotten unreasonable too. But there are times when someone that is working very hard to be successful has to make a choice between the job and his/her personal life.
As I posted earlier in the thread, I was in situation where the job controlled my life. I too would make promises that I had to break - usually because of things like emergencies occurring when I, as the 'successful' owner, was the only person available to cover shifts. The choice that I often had was a) do the shift myself and break my promise, or b) keep my promise and close the business for the day. Sometimes, when there are bills to be paid and other responsibilities, you just have to keep the business open regardless of what it does to your relationship.
My partner got to the point where she couldn't take it any more and nearly left me. It was especially difficult for her because she could see my physical and mental health deteriorating because of the stress of the job. Eventually, a year and a half after finally admitting to myself that I had had enough, the business sold and I was free to spend more time with her even though I got myself a considerably lower paying job. Having less money has brought about some interesting problems and stresses too.
What I am saying is that sometimes, you no choice about being a workaholic and that even if you decide that you no longer want to be a workaholic, it can take a long time to get out of that situation.
Keep an open mind. Sometimes being financially successful requires some sacrifices - and I think that you'll find that more often than not, the sacrifices are made in your relationships.
My situation with my ex-boyfriend was all about problems. I always defended him because I cared to much to step back from the situation and think "is this good for me?" The more time I think and find out things the more I'm starting to believe he was cheating and there wasn't a 3rd job. Today I found out a week before he stopped calling he had made a new yahoo/email account so I could no longer get in touch with him. He planned this whole thing, I guess he just forgot to dump me. What hurts the most is that a mutual friend told him that I was in a bad car accident Friday where the driver hit me headon and drove about 200 yards and wrecked and got out and ran, completely totaled my old car, and he hasn't even called to see if I'm alright. He said all this time how much he cared and missed me, and what bothers me is I don't see how a person could look you in the face and do that. I already had trust issues and I finally trusted him and he broke that trust. I don't understand how a person could do that to you knowing its going to hurt the other person.
I know you have to make sacrifices to be successful at what you do thats why I decided that I don't want a boyfriend as a distraction or to hurt me so bad I can't concentrate on school. So I probably will not date seriously for a while, I want a doctorate in microbiology really bad.
Pages