Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Why Wont He Put Out.. grrr...
53
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:51pm
I am so frustrated with my boyfriend because I have NOT had a orgasm in 3 MONTHS. When we do see each other I'm pmsing so we usually do anal sex, or I give him a bj, and I SUFFER. Well he promised tonight we would see each other because we were both off tomorrow and we could spend a lot of time together. Well he text messages me saying "baby im sick, my chest is hurting, blah blah blah." And i was sooooooooooooooooo mad bc all i could think is "OMG another month without sex." Next week i start my period so even if we see each other i wont get any. I know he cant help hes sick, but its like EVERY WEEK something comes up and we cant see each other and FINALLY when we do im pmsing. I feel neglected, unwanted, and just frustrated. Most men would want to have sex even if they were half dead. Since we started dating i went from 100 pounds to 120 pounds, and its all went to my thighs n butt. I feel fat and im wondering if hes not attracted to me. He said it wasnt that and he was attracted. But how am i suppose to feel when every time we are suppose to see each other and he cancels? I just feel unwanted. When he texted me, i got so upset, that i kept getting upset at work n crying. He said he would make it up to me and he was sorry and missed me. But i just feel neglected and i just feel like ripping his clothes off n taking advantage of him. We went from having sex every week to, hardly ever because of his 3 jobs. I CANNOT wait til he quits one of them. The only way he can make this up to me is by spending a entire weekend with me, pampering me, and paying attention to me. I feel like its unfair because I MAKE SURE he gets plenty of orgasms. He got some last week when we saw each other, but i didnt bc we didn't have time or space to have sex or for him to go down on me bc he had to go to work n we was in his car. So i gave him a bj bc i wanted him pleased. I just dont think hes making the effort to please me. What do you guys think? Am i over reacting or what?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 9:44am
I agree with Tish that it's funny and fascinating how life works out sometimes... I wouldn't have imagined marrying someone like my husband. My situation was like the opposite of Tish's. I sort of imagined marrying a businessman who wears 3-piece suit everyday, but my husband was long-haired (when we first met, now it's short), wears denim and t-shirt everyday, and works in a warehouse. When we first got married he was only a general warehouse worker, now he's a supervisor and earns a good stable income that supports the two of us very comfortably (I'm not working at the moment, being lazy and spoiled). Anyway, this is really digressing from the OP... just thought I'd share my story.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 1:19pm

You're right I might not even marry the type of guy I'm looking for, but I don't want to be with the type of guys I have been dating. I realized I need a guy to call me every night, because I just need that, and I was not getting that with my ex. I was getting nothing from my ex except heartache, and I thought things would get better and it was temporary. I still don't know why he would do this, but I'm starting to believe he just lied all this time and was that fake. It hurts me when I think about it because I cared about him so much that its hard for me to move on with my life, I can't go a day or 4 hours without him passing through my mind.

I really don't want to date for awhile because when I'm with another guy I will be thinking about my ex. I know this is mean for me to say but I really hope that my ex gets what he deserves and I believe one day he will. I was thinking about driving to his house and talking to him, but Im scared I'll drive 2 hours for no reason, and if something did happen to me when I drive to see him, I'll be screwed so I decided to drop it. Whats hard is moving on when I feel like everything has been left unsettled. I try to stay busy but it doesn't seem to work. I managed to wrap all of my christmas and my parents in one night lol. Its just hard for me to move on, when I still love him and feel that things are not settled.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 12-06-2004 - 3:41pm
Yes, it is hard to move on especially when you have so many *why* questions and when you were betrayed.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

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