Why would a good guy marry a bad girl?
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Why would a good guy marry a bad girl?
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 7:07pm |
If you are a good guy (virgin or very few sex partners) how can you avoid getting connected to a bad girl (lot of sex partners)? It is unlikely that she will tell the truth about what she has done in the past, and since the past is our best predictor of the future, how do you avoid women who are likely to stray?

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First off ... while past behavior can be a predictor of future behavior, there are a lot of maturity changes that happen in the 20s and 30s that can make past behavior completely unrelated to future behavior.
Secondly ... having lots of sex partners does not necessarily mean "straying". Straying implies cheating. And it is very possible to have lots of sex partners without having cheated or betrayed.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
As Savcal said, the past is not always a predictor of the future and a lot of it depends on age and majority.
Find yourself a virgin, who's never had any experience, if you're not a good lover, if you leave her unfulfilled, or frustrated.......she's inexperienced, she doesn't know what to ask for, but she knows it's not happening.....and she's more likely to go looking elsewhere than a woman who knows what she wants, and knows how to ask for it.
Someone's sexual past is no way an indicator of future faithfulness. You want a partner that's faithful, then make sure you don't give her any reason to be UNfaithful.
I don't think that the H is the reason the wandering wife is unfaithful. I know a number of them that no matter who they are married to one man is just not enough for them. They like sex from a number of different people for the change, charge, and the fact that it is exciting. Having sex with the same guy all the time is just not what they want but for some reason they want to get married. The guy gets all excited, builds a new house etc. and pretty soon the wife is in bed with another man. They just like to have sex with a lot of different people. One married a guy just to get him to pay for her new boob job before moving on to her next guy.
Edited 9/23/2004 1:29 am ET ET by txguy2004
There are no guarantees in life, and if you're looking for one, you're not going to find it. And again, it's just as likely that a virgin will get the urge as someone who's had sexual experience.
Don't you know anyone who's happily married, and doesn't cheat on their spouse?
I know happly married people but I don't know any guys that married women that were sexually active with a lot of people before marriage who's marriage lasted. About the 7 to 10 year area was as long as they could be good then they had to party, hit the clubs, have a lot more sex pardners and then remarry in about 3 to 4 years. I am sure there are some that don't behave this way but I don't know any.
Edited 9/23/2004 4:03 am ET ET by txguy2004
There was a post here not too long ago asking people to list how many sexual partners they've had. Some of the posters are regulars here, and possibly some still lurk. Some who responded are married and/or in LTR's, and some listed their SO's numbers. Some had very high numbers. Why not ask if their or their SO's sexual history makes them want to cheat or if they are satisfied with one partner? You couid also create a new thread asking those who have cheated to reveal their sexual past.
Forgot the link:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlletstalkab&msg=15191.1
Edited 9/23/2004 7:20 am ET ET by life_is_but_a_dream
They liked the way they felt while sleeping around when they were younger, and when intimacy was lost in the marriage, they reverted back to old behaviors still "searching." The problem is they wont find what they are looking for in the next bed.
Somewhere along the line we have lost just how special the sex act is supposed to be, almost like it has been cheapened. Kind of like a handshake with an orgasm.
Also, what about the men in these same situations? Most men are more sexually active than most women when they're single. Does the same thing apply? If men were promiscuous when they were single, does that mean they'll cheat after they get married? I was married for 20 years to a man who was a virgin, as I was. He cheated for most of the 20 years, I never did, and never had the desire to cheat. He didn't cheat because he wasn't happy at home, he was, and he said so when he begged me not to divorce him. He cheated because he had an emotional inability to be satisfied with anything, or anyone. He married again, and he cheated again....and SHE divorced him.
Humpdaddy says that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Who says that everyone in that 50% got divorced because of cheating? And what about the 50% that do NOT end in divorce?
If you find a good woman (and don't confuse "good" with prior sexual activity)and you make her happy, she won't cheat on you. If she makes you happy, you won't cheat on her, either. Unless one or the other of you has the pyschological need to look elsewhere.
I have my ideas on why the divorce rate is so high.
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