Wife and I want Threesome
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Wife and I want Threesome
| Mon, 05-15-2006 - 2:14pm |
Hello
My wife and I are looking to do our first threesome. We both enjoy talking about it when having sex, and she really gets off talking about it. She has picked out a guy that she says does IT for her; they’ve made out and have done some light touching and rubbing. Here is the thing she wants to go to bed with him first and enjoy him without me, and then introduce me into the act later. Now this excites me to no end and she knows it. Should I allow her to do this alone at first and then join in, or should I insist on being there the first time? We are both open with each other and express our desires with one another. She say’s she will tell me everything that happens afterwards…..DO I LET THIS HAPPEN…
AROUSED AT THE THOUGHT!

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have you thought this through?? if she feels IT for him, what if she starts getting emotionally into it? she's indicating that it may be going there by wanting it to be a one on one experience with the other guy.
if i was you i wouldn't agree to it. but can you even say no at this point, it seems like she would do it anyway being that they are making out already.
i think it is good to be open-minded and experiential, but it is also healthy for the relationship to maintain certain boundaries.
just curious, what excites you about her being with another guy, especially if you aren't even in the picture?
Are you sure that your wife hasn't already hopped into the sack with him and she has come up with a novel way to inform you?
My wife and I have been toying with the idea of a threesome for a while now too, but certainly haven't gone as far as you have.
Something about this makes me feel a little uneasy. In our situation, the threesome is about something that would expand *our* lovelife and boundaries and it would affect *our* relationship. It sounds like your wife is off expanding *her* horizons and experiences without *you*. The two of you are a couple, and meant to be sharing experiences and you developing your sexlife together. Where's the "we" in this experience?
It sounds like any permission from you is an after-thought. She's already chosen him, and made-out with him. Did you get any say in the matter? Have you even talked to him about the situation, the groundrules, or his thoughts on the matter? Could you say "No" at this point?
And now that she wants to actually have sex with him, she doesn't even want you in the same room? Why on earth not?! Really, think about that for a moment. *Why not?*
It's not a threesome if three people aren't involved. You're her husband and the whole idea was for the wife and husband to invite a third person into *their* bedroom, not for the wife and some other guy to exclude the husband from *their* bedroom.
Frankly the way I see it, she isn't asking permission for a threesome, she's asking permission to screw another guy, basically, behind your back. And I have to wonder if she really cares whether or not you give her the go-ahead.
You might be aroused and turned on, but I think that you need to put it back into your pants for a minute and actually have a good hard think about what's going on here before you allow her to go through with it.
Let us know what happens. If we're wrong it'd be good to know.
"Her coming home to me after a night with him, she’ll be all sexed up and ready to be my SLUT."
Really? I'd think she'd be all sexed-out. I know that women are multi-orgasmic, but that doesn't mean that the "mental" aspect of horniness doesn't dissipate with the first orgasm. I can "physically" orgasm because the clitoris remains erect even though you feel very satisfied and reverts back to about a half-way point of "physical" arousal.
In other words(and this is hard to articulate), during orgasm, right at the peak, spasms begin. They can go on for quite a long time. At first they are very close together, and then they begin to taper off sometimes with about five seconds between each one. It's almost like trying to squeeze the last drop out. You feel as though there's another one there--a last drop, but you can't quite get it out. That's what it's like. I want to get that last drop out, so I go for it again....start at the beginning. It's sort of an endless loop.
But anyway, although there can be some fantasy and mental arousal, after the first orgasm, that heightened, mesmerizing, drug-like feeling of lust is mostly gone and it can take several hours for it to return(I guess this is a woman's refractory in some sense). Even though I can orgasm, pretty much endlessly, it has nothing to do with feeling all sexed-up. Of course, every woman is different, but from what my friends and I discuss, it's pretty standard. Unless of course, she's not orgasming with him and saving it ALL for you, then yes, I can see her coming home all sexed up.
She's a woman, she can have sex all day long, but that doesn't mean that she's actually into it(not in the way you think), especially if she recently had wild-passionate fulfilling sex with another man. Women have the abilities to be multi-orgasmic, but that has little to do with the feeling of lust. Just think of yourself. You know how you feel after you have just orgasmed? It's very much the same. Just picture yourself though, feeling like you had a little more in there you had to get out. It's physical, not really emotional.
Edited 5/16/2006 10:05 am ET by rain_dancer_iam
How is you knowing about what she's doing making it any different? She IS stepping out on you though, you have just condoned it. That's your choice.
My concern would be that this guy would have no interest in being in the same bed with YOU, in a threesome scenario, so the whole thing may be a way for her to have her cake and eat it, too. Honestly though, it sounds as if the motive here is for YOU to be with another guy, not her.
Edited 5/16/2006 10:39 am ET by katmandoo2001
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