Wife and I want Threesome
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Wife and I want Threesome
| Mon, 05-15-2006 - 2:14pm |
Hello
My wife and I are looking to do our first threesome. We both enjoy talking about it when having sex, and she really gets off talking about it. She has picked out a guy that she says does IT for her; they’ve made out and have done some light touching and rubbing. Here is the thing she wants to go to bed with him first and enjoy him without me, and then introduce me into the act later. Now this excites me to no end and she knows it. Should I allow her to do this alone at first and then join in, or should I insist on being there the first time? We are both open with each other and express our desires with one another. She say’s she will tell me everything that happens afterwards…..DO I LET THIS HAPPEN…
AROUSED AT THE THOUGHT!

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He's trying to predict the unpredictable. Might be good and it might not, I hear many more stories about marriages getting screwed up over threesomes, as opposed to a dating couple without as much invested or as much to lose.
Well, well, isn't everyone getting fired up about this? LOL!
OK, I can see where you're coming from as far as this threesome goes. I have to say that it's not what I would want if it was me and my wife, but that's cool. We're all different.
I think that you have to consider the idea that it's not "just sex". I suspect that's where a lot of threesomes go wrong. Sure there are bits being inserted into other bits and there is that purely physical aspect of a threesome, but the bits are attached to living, breathing humans with feelings, desires, motivations, wants and needs. Humans are notorious for being emotional and having irrational thoughts and emotions. Sometimes, despite all the logic in the word saying otherwise, you will have feelings that you shouldn't. Because of that and because sex is quite an intense and intimate thing between two people (or three), no-one can be 100% sure of where the situation will go or what it will happen.
Like some of the others have said, there are also purely physical considerations. Your wife may come home and be sexed-out, not sexed-up like you are both expecting and hoping. Suddenly you're extremely disappointed and feeling more than a little ripped off. Simple things like that can throw a big spanner into the works.
What if she finds that she does enjoy the sex with this younger man and enjoys his company as well? You may find that she wants to spend more time with him than you are comfortable with. She may not be the slightest bit interested in running off with him or falling in love with him but, again, its a simple thing that could cause problems.
One last thing, you feel very strongly about not being gay. Are you sure that you will feel comfortable in the same room with this other guy? You don't have to touch him, but you are likely to be in very close proximity with a naked guy and a hard erect penis that isn't your own. That won't cause problems for you, will it?
Again, good luck with it. I hope that you enjoy the threesome and that it all goes well for you. And again, let us know how it goes.
The decision regarding to do it or not needs to be made mutually between the two of you. As I read your posting I saw two red flags that needs to be taken into consideration. First red flag is that she wants to play alone. I have done this once before with agreement from my husband but we had reached an agreement about the activity. Things we agreed were it was a one time thing, safe sex would be practiced, and that I would tell him about it afterwards. In your situation you mention that you would be introduced later. However you do not mention how or if this has been agreed by the other guy. Before doing it I would say talk with him directly to see if this agreeable and if not, I would not get near the situation.
Another red flag I see is that the two of you are moving too quickly. It seems as though you have had some discussion but I wonder how much about this you have talked. Before trying this you really need to discuss it between the two of you and then have a discussion with the third included to make sure everyone is on the same page. For example the two of you could have dinner with the third, have a conversation, and then you could excuse yourself while the the others 'enjoy themselves'.
"Uh, "licking her clean" after being with another guy is pretty disgusting and strange for a straight man to want to do, IMO."
You're right, it IS "in your opinion". Honestly, isn't this board supposed to be open to things even if we don't understand them? This guy is not the only one with this fantasy, I've heard it from other people as well, both straight men AND women have this very fantasy. I don't understand it either but that's no reason to go telling someone that their fantasy is "disgusting and strange". How would you feel if someone said that about your fantasies?
We can warn him about the risks that will likely go along with it but in the end, it's a decision for he and his wife to make and frankly I think it's quite rude to tell someone their desires are disgusting and strange just because you don't like them.
I also don't think it's fair to assume that just because there are risks it means that they WILL occur for this couple. We don't know them, we clearly don't understand them... so how can we accurately judge how they will handle the situation?
My theory is always that what consenting adults (however many of them there might be) do in their own bedroom is not my place to judge and call it wrong, disgusting, strange, or whatever else. Beyond warning them about the risks, it's none of my business.
Genealogical Musings
As someone else said, maybe you should head over to the Taboo board (click on Taboos on my siggie).
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