Woman on Top Advice Needed!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Woman on Top Advice Needed!!!
9
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 3:54pm
I know that the "woman on top" position is often discussed on the boards, but I'm still looking for answers...

Here's my situation: I've been having sex for about the past six months with my boyfriend and he is my first partner. We've experimented with a variety of positions, but woman on top just doesn't seem to work. I know that both of us would like it to, so I thought I would see what advice the members of the board can give! Part of my problem is that I feel awkward and shy when I'm on top of him. Part of my problem is that I don't know how to move-- since I've never had an orgasm during intercourse (I have during other things), I don't have any instinct for what would feel good to me. And part of the problem is that it hurts me when I am sitting straight on top of him.

I've tried leaning forward and sometimes we have sex like that, but I know that I must be doing something wrong because it isn't pleasurable at all for me! I can't seem to get the clitoral stimulation going.

So any of your advice would be soo appreciated! "Ride him" doesn't seem to explain it to me, so the more specific the better! Please let me know if you find that it's best to bounce up and down, rock your hips back and forth, move in a circle, etc. and where you put your arms.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:18pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:22pm
Ride him simply means, picture a guy riding a bull. He moves wildly as the bull buchs him. Side to side, up and down. Personally, i prefer variations of missionary or doggy. They hit the spot better. It's really sexy when i'm on the bottom and i'm dominating him. Which positions do you all use?

Also, you say you haven't had an orgasm. Have you ever tried The Cat?> It's a variation of Missionary that stimulates the clitoris that guarantees 99% of women an orgasm.

When i do find myself on top, i find moving in diamond shapes best. But your guy also has to get involved. If he just lies there, It will be boring.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:28pm
What exactly is The Cat?? Inquiring minds want to know...;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:40pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 4:50pm
That's the way it is for us too, when I'm on top. *I'M* in charge, which means it's slow and easy. Maybe if you want to compare it to bull riding, you could picture Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy when she's doing her really slow, seductive mechanical bull riding show, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 5:27pm
Agreed. Woman on top is kinda like riding a bull. My favorite is when my guy grabs me by my hips and just moves me up and down on him.I really don't like the slow movements. If i want to make slow passionate love, i let him get on top. Just remember, do what works. To each is own. What feels good for me may not feel good for you.

Also someone asked " What is The CAT" ? It is perhaps the best variation of the missionary position. True, it is probably the position that allows you to orgasm in the best. I have seen several posts and articles on the cat and have never seen a bad review. First time users are always amazed. It is a slow building orgasm position. I have more orgasms in the cat than any other position. Here is some info i got from another post that explains the cat a little better. If someone can explain it better please do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 5:29pm
OOps !!! I I forgot to paste the main entree. Here is the info on "THE CAT" !

A New Way to Reach Orgasm

The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a sexual position "designed" to greatly improve a woman's chance of orgasm with genital intercourse. Most women need to have clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Traditional thrusting in the missionary position often is "close but no cigar" as far as achieving this. The clitoris is about 2-3 cm closer to the front of the woman's body than the vaginal opening. Thus, it is possible, even probable that thrusting misses the clitoris all together. Clitoral stimulation is indirect or sporadic. The CAT allows the man and woman's combined thrusting to do the job. CAT is basically a revised missionary position, with the man on top and face to face with his partner (CAT can be done with the woman on top, too). What's different is that the man has vaginal sex with his partner from a higher angle than usual, thrusting pressure on the woman's clitoris while he enters and re-enters her in response to her pelvic thrusts.

How to do it

The man enters initially from between the woman's legs which are apart and slightly bent, but then lifts himself further up the length of her body so that his thrusts make contact with her clitoris. At the very same time the base of the man's penis is also being stimulated. By leaning to the right or left of her torso, the man can rest his weight partially on his partner and partially on whatever the platform is for this event. It is important for the man to relax his upper body. The woman can then wrap her legs around his, trying to extend the stretch of her legs so that her ankles are about at the height of his calves. With this position a woman can then begin to thrust her own pelvis, repeatedly making contact between her clitoris and the base of his penis. Basically this is a rocking back and forth in sync sort of thing with the focus on the clitoris and the base of the penis rather than being all about penetration.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 6:13pm
I know that scene, love that movie.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 6:14pm
BIG agreement with the replies so far. Just wanted to add what does and doesn't work with me and wifey.

If she doesn't really want it, then it won't ever work, at least for us anyway. She's got to have that urge to just grab on and take control.

Her being on top is not really any different than me being on top. We still embrace and have close face to face contact. Differences include my ability to grab that much more of her body, especially since her backside would be exposed, and also the fact that the penetration is under HER control. She controls how the penetration feels to HER, so thats quite a bonus in itself.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

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