Woman on top problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2006
Woman on top problem
3
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 5:01pm

Hi I'm new to this board. My name is Jenn.

Anyway ok here's the deal: When my b/f and I have sex, he usually does all of the work, and it takes A LOT for him to get physically tired because he is very in-shape. Well every now and then he wants me to be on top, but the problem is I can last about 2 or 3 minutes and then I get so tired and out of breath because I'm very out of shape. I used to exercise pretty often, but now I work full time and go to school part time and I clean the house (we live together), and I'm trying to learn how to cook (which is not going well at all). So what little spare time I do have, I don't want to spend exercising. I feel so drained from everything else I do and I just don't have time. My b/f teases me about the fact that I can't last long. I have tried everything to make myself more comfotable like positioning my legs, different WOT positions and nothing helps. One night pretty recently he wanted me on top and then when I got tired, he started laughing at me. He laughed at me so hard and thought it was so funny, but it really hurt my feelings. What can I do?

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:56pm

What in the world are you doing that tires you out so quickly? In shape or not, if you do it right, it's not that tiring. Are you trying to bounce up and down, and imitate a man's thrusting? If so, that's your problem. That's almost impossible for most women, and that usually makes it fall out, and just get frustrating.

Kneel over him, don't squat on your heels. Your thighs are what supports you. Position yourself over him, and then start slowly and sensuously grinding into him. You can move your hips in a circular motion, or thrust your hips toward him. This position is for YOU not for him. He's resting, and he's enjoying watching you enjoy yourself. As you grind into him, you get clitoral stimulation. If you get the motion right, you might get some "g" spot action, too. Once you get it right, it'll be your favorite position.

As for him laughing, not very nice, but at the same time.....who says sex has to be "serious"? Sometimes things that happen ARE funny, and there's no reason you can't BOTH laugh at times. He wasn't laughing at what you were doing, he was laughing about how tired you got. Not a big deal, and I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you or your feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 10:48am

I'm thinking his intentions of wanting you on top are for your pleasure, mostly. He does get that great visual (boobs bobbing) and the break from doing all the work, but seriously, women LOVE to be on top. Sorry he laughed at you, hopefully it was in a playful way.

Sometimes my DH tries to move when I'm on top (like when I try to meet his thrusts when he is on top) -- that creates a whole new problem. So, he needs to lay still, otherwise you have to put extra strain on your legs to keep everything where it belongs.

When I'm on top, I do more like combination moves. Some grinding and some riding. When you are grinding, it's not as hard on your legs. Another thing I do is put a pillow on each side of him to rest my knees on. It raises me up a little bit and gives me a nice cushion for my knees. Another thing that will take the pressure off of your knees, give him a great visual, and get to some of your hot spots is to arch your back and actually place your hands slightly behind you on the bed.

Another thing you can try is the reverse cowgirl. Just face away from him (looking at his feet). This way you can really concentrate on you and not be as self-conscious.

Just keep practicing - tell him he can't laugh - and you should develop a style and rhythm of your own.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2005
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 2:53pm

I have to say that I do not enjoy being on top because I do tire easily as well however, being on top does feel great! Don't try to bounce around like you see in porn, that's not realistic, it's a show! and if you did time those girls, you would see that they don't last much more longer than that.

Like others suggested, try grinding, or reverse yourself and rock on his penis. That's my favourite. he won't reach orgasm but it will still feel great. This position is for your pleasure!

Get on top, slide him in and enjoy. Ask him to play with your breats while you play with your clitoris. Rock Grind and Enjoy!
Katie