Women = big fakers?
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Women = big fakers?
| Tue, 06-07-2005 - 7:16pm |
It's universally assumed that women moan, scream, breathe heavily, et cetera during climax. My question is, why do they? Orgasms are no big deal at all. If that kind of loud response is involuntary, as people claim, then why haven't *I* ever felt the urge to make any noise whatsoever? I've never felt NEARLY the level of pleasure that would warrant such a loss of vocal control. So are these females exaggerating for their partner's benefit, or just fooling themselves?

I don't know about any other woman, but this woman has never screamed or thrashed. In fact, I do the exact opposite. I become quiet at the point of no return, and then moan and breathe heavy throughout the spasms. I do the same exact thing even when I masturbate and there's no one to impress, so I don't think I'll ever change. However, we're all different.
Orgasm no big deal...I beg to differ! ;-)
Edited 6/7/2005 7:25 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
I don't scream, and I don't thrash around but I do move and
So, because YOU don't make any noise when orgasming, you assume that other women who do must be faking? LOL! And why would they bother "fooling themselves?" What purpose would that serve?
Sorry, but my orgasms ARE a big deal, even though I'm not a screamer. I moan, groan and in general, respond to the pleasure I'm experiencing. I don't need to put on a show for my DH though.
If you aren't experiencing satisfying orgasms that aren't a "big deal" to you, then maybe you're doing something wrong.
OK....I'll admit it. I'm a screamer - though I have learned to control it for the sake of our kids (and neighbours LOL)
For me, an orgasm *is* a big deal. With a really great orgasm I feel like I've died and gone to heaven and returned back to my bed. My body will go stiff and virtually levitate above the bed and my eyes will roll back in my head. Afterwards, I'm so exhausted that I can barely move for a few minutes. At most, I can manage a grin. Trust me, when it's *that good*, it's quite hard for me to hold back on the vocals.
Interestingly enough, my first boyfriend was quite turned off by any type of vocals, so I held back. And I never had an orgasm. My second boyfriend enquired as to why I wasn't vocal....so I let go. And as soon as I stopped holding back my emotions, whammo - I had an orgasm. I then discovered that for me there is a direct correlation between how vocal I am and how big the orgasm is.
Please remember that we are all different. Just because your orgasms are nothing special, doesn't mean that we *all* have orgams that are nothing special.
If you feel that orgasms are no big deal, then I will suggest that you've never had a really GREAT orgasm. I'm normally a very quiet person sexually, but there have been times.....when I've had to supress the noise because the windows were open, or just simply because I was afraid it WOULD sound fake. Not every time, but many times.
We are all different, and orgasms can be different. It's not "universally assumed" that all women thrash and moan during orgasms, but there ARE orgasms that are WAYYYY more than "no big deal"!
I don't know how many men you've been with, but they are just as different as women...some make a lot of noise, some never make a sound. And occasionally, the quiet ones make a LOT of noise.
There is NO universally accepted behavior during sex......Vive le difference! Who would want it to be the same always?
There ARE women who fake, and I feel sorry for them....they're the losers.....they're so busy putting on a performance, they don't enjoy what they're doing. If they'd learn to enjoy instead of putting on an act, they probably wouldn't HAVE to put on an act.
How about those of us who laugh, a little light one accompanied with the coolest smile (before/after orgasm - who cares, the fact is the feeling/sensations bring it on and I couldn't fake it if I wanted too). I have never faked it, even the last two times with XH when all I did was lay there and write the shopping list in my head (boy was I suprised that I could actually "think" during sex - sad to say our last two times was sex and not making love - huge awareness for me!).
As a person who cannot fantasize during sex (because the sensations won't let my mind think - it just "feels") I think faking it would take too much energy: Oh yeah, he's doing this so then I must _____; okay, now he's doing that so I'll ____. Way too much thinking for this horny chick!!!
As a person who never had "earth shattering orgasm" I use to scream but having kids quieted me down. Now I just moan, yet sometimes I'm quiet and just breathe heavy and then sometimes I have to remember (and it's tough) to breathe, open the mouth and now breathe, but it's the smile that tells me he's right where I want him to be, and it's his ejaculation at the onset of my contractions that tell me I'm right where he wants me to be! :)
To each his/her own, fakers or not - may you just enjoy being with another human being!
Naturally, having never been present while another woman is having sex, I can only speak for myself. But I do not scream, shriek, bounce around wildly. I *do* moan and shudder, I can attest to that! It's not loud and it's definitely not for Dh's benefit. It's involuntary..I can no more stop it than I can stop the orgasm at that point.
While I'm sure there are women that get dramatic, maybe it's natural for them or maybe they're just playing it up for their partner, to make him feel good. In that case, I don't see what it hurts, if it increases his pleasure. But most women I know giggle about the theatrics portrayed in adult movies and generally agree that it's a bit much. I wouldn't call moaning or heavy breathing overdone. And if you don't do it, it's just because that is what is normal for *you*.
As for real life, I like others that have replied sometimes moan, breathe heavy and occasionally let out a loud sound. It isn't faked if I have a powerful orgasm any sound I make is involuntary.