Women: Ego Boost or Pain Know you could get Laid Whenever You Want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013
Women: Ego Boost or Pain Know you could get Laid Whenever You Want?
9
Sat, 09-28-2013 - 8:31am
I was looking through a photo album this morning and didn't realize how much time I spent poolside in my 20's and early 30's.  Seeing all the women in the photos I pondered what it was like to be a woman, wake up, freshen up a bit, slip on a bikini and go poolside knowing you could get laid with even just a subtle suggestion to a guy about going upstairs and cooling off for a while. Knowing guys were watching you rub lotion all over, every time you put you knees up and squeezed your thighs together, knowing they were fantasizing about you.  
Is that an huge ego boost or a pain knowing anything you say or do will be construed sexually if there is even a remote change to twist it as such. Think I'd like to be able to do that for even just week. 
Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012

That isn't something that every woman experiences.  I know I didn't as a young woman.  

Avatar for StephanieOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2013
I have an older brother and from spending time with big bro and his friends I must say that I acquired much insight into how men think. With that behind said, I believe depending how a woman wants to dress and present herself may encourage or discourage sexual advances (not always though). I wouldn't say that a woman can "get it" whenever she wants but we probably do have more opportunity than men do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013
Looking at the pictures reminded me my girlfriend at the time had surprised me with a speedo style swim suit on a vacation to Mexico. I'm pretty thick and long even without being hard, was still a little naive and embarrassed so I had to take a couple puffs of hippie lettuce to feel comfortable wearing it. The whole trip women were very friendly, so a few days after getting home I wore it poolside. My girlfriend came over, saw me at the pool, told me that was NOT to be worn other than on vacation and was I gonna stay poolside with these WHORES or get dressed and take her out to dinner. OMG, funny...now. Women did flirt, we were even having very sensual mind sex. Heck, sometimes we'd get in the pool and use the water jets to cum. HOWEVER, the amazing thing is we could be in the throws of all that and I'd suggest we go upstairs for a while and was amazed how many times the woman would come up with a lame excuse not to. Me...I never turned it down, which goes to my original question. Whether the woman was a hottie, girl next door type or a teacher poolside enjoying summer vacation. If I couldn't right then I'd tell her we'll get together in a couple hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

George, I think you're confused about the difference between men and women.  Most women do not spend their lives thinking about "getting laid"......that's a male behavior.  Women (at least most of them) are a little more selective about it.  They don't look at every man they see and drool.  The thing that's always been a pain for me was how many men THINK that all women are dying to get in bed with them!  I once tried to ignore a drunken fool who thought that way.......and finally told him to get away from me.  He said "do you think you're sitting on a gold mine?"  I said "yes, and you'll never be mining there!"

Avatar for StephanieOC
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2013
lol - Great comeback Fissatore :)
Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012

My generation was taught that "nice girls" didn't go out looking for sex.  "Good girls" saved themselves for marriage and then stayed with one partner their whole life.  Setting out to "get laid" was something I would never have done as a young woman.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013

Sorry you had to induce such Fissatore. I've NEVER had to get liquored up to talk with a woman and most guys look at guys who do as 1st class losers. Ironically, I have been poolside late in the afternoon and a woman would've had a couple drinks too many and ask for "some of that big thing". HOWEVER, the girlfriends/wives of friends or women I knew would pressure me to not oblige. Saying they'd lose respect for me, I have more class than that., etc.  Kind of a double standard, huh?

Siah54, I have meet women from your generation who are single and their personality is quite interesting. I remember visiting with a woman who was a neighbor in my complex...early to mid-50's who was really attractive. I'd visit with her in the parking lot, mailbox, etc., and she'd be very flirty and easy to talk to. One evening she asked if I was going poolside the next afternoon and we agreed to meet up. Saw her poolside the next afternoon, waited 20 minutes or so, slipped on my speedo and shorts, said hi to friends before going over to lay beside her. She was excited to see me, moved her stuff to make room for me, Heck, while I was walking towards her she was pulling my lounge chair to within a few inches of hers. I peeled off my shorts and got situated. Looked over at her, her legs were shaking...hands as well, to the point she couldn't hold the magazine she was reading. I tried to converse with her about weather, TV, just BS to help her relax...NOTHING remotely suggestive. All she gave me was short answers and acted like I was bothering her. I thought what a waste and now it would be awkward to get up and go sit somewhere else. What a flake. Of course not all women of her generation is like that but to be confident and flirty then do a 180 was bizarre  Siah54, you can say she realized "good girls don't..." But I don't think that was the case here. 

Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I would have a struggle to overcome that voice in my head saying "good girls don't".  And there are women of every age who are teases, but who have no intention of doing anything else.   

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013

Yes, women are teasers, thanks for the confirmation. I saw an old friend of my sister last night who is a counselor. After a few glasses of wine I asked her about women knowing they can get physical with a guy pretty much whenever they're a little extra horny. She laughed and said yes back in our day when we'd go poolside women loved to slip on something skimpy and tease\flirt. For her, she found guys in their teens and 20's were lousy lovers so taking a guy for sexual satisfaction usually resulted in sexual frustration, She'd tease\flirt then go inside and create her own fantasy that was ALWAYS satisfying. Afterwards she didn't have to deal with some guy laying there who left her frustrated and wanting him to leave so she could finish the job. 

Through her work she realizes more and more that for many, the less a guy knows about a woman the more sexually attracted he is. That is ABSOLUTELY true. For women...as a whole the opposite. Back in my poolside days there were many times I would have loved to put my arms around a woman in the pool when we were flirting and take her right there...I did a few times. if she were to start telling me things like work has been slow and is worried she's gonna get laid off, her old car has broken down twice in the past 3 weeks, or such as that it would have been a huge turnoff. Just like when we see a woman wearing a sun dress in the grocery store who bends from the waist to get something off the shelf. Yes, we fantasize about walking over, lifting the bottom of her dress and taking her. Don't know her name or anything about her...and don't want to. Women know that because at times in the same circumstances, if a woman sees a creepy guy, she'll bend from the knees to get something off the shelf because she doesn't want to give the guy even the chance for a quick fantasy.