Women who do or do not masterbate

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Women who do or do not masterbate
27
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:45am
Something I read on another thread made me think. My DW has never masterbated. When the topic has come up she says she doesn't understand why women do it, says she has never had the urge. Sex with a partner is all that interests her. If she were single she says she would just go without. Not that I want her to masterbate, but can you help me understand why one woman may say it's an something they do regularly and enjoy, others like my wife have never done it. Is it related to sex drive? Upbringing? Is it a way to bypass intimacy while still getting a release? Those who partake, why do you? From a guys point of view all I can say is the testosterone builds up...the opportunity for intimacy isn't looking good for a few days...your in the shower with a minute to spare...and away you go. Is it different for women?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 11:24am
Koondadyo,

I don't agree with that at all. I don't think it has anything to do with how much sex you have with a partner or how "healthy" your sex life is. Some people just like that physical feeling from an orgasm while masturbating. It really is much different than when doing it with someone else.

In fact, I probably have the urge to masturbate more when I am having a lot of sex with a partner than when I am not getting any at all.

Sorry, just had to totally dissagree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:10pm
I agree, the more sex I am having the more I want. With my first husband, he was not really to sexually motivated--as a result, my sex drive diminished--didn't even feel like buzzing off. Now my dh is ready almost all of the time. We have been together for two years and we make it part of our almost daily routine. I would say that we average sex 6 times a week, and we are 49 and 53. I know that I have the urge to mb in the shower more now than ever before. Not to mention that it drives my dh wild.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 3:38pm
3 cents actually -

My first cent - Generally that's the case - the more sex we have, the more we want to have sex. I can't remember the exact biological reason, but I think it has to do with a hormone we produce and the more of it that's in our bloodstream, the more aroused we are? But I'm not sure on this.

My second cent - masturbation helps women learn what we like and what we don't like. It helps us become more comfortable with our bodies. It helps us notice any changes that might happen to our bodies.

My third cent - from doing sex toy parties (although we carry lots of other stuff too), I've met women who do and women who don't. I think whatever you're comfortable with is critical. It's important not to pressure someone either way to do or not do something. Many women who don't, go to my parties, have fun, buy the lotions (not the toys) and leave still not masturbating. So long as they're comfortable, more power to them!

(I don't mean to sound like an advertisement, I'm just drawing on my experiences.)

Leah

Avatar for fuschia52
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 6:38pm
I think, like some have mentioned, that it is individual, but women do masturbate less than men. Female masturbation has historically been a subject that didn't exist. "Good girls" weren't even supposed to have sex drives, for goodness sakes. It wasn't until the early '70s with women like Betty Dodson and others that female masturbation entered discussions on sexuality. Even though we're supposedly more sexually open, female masturbation continues to be a "taboo" subject for many people. Have attitudes toward female sexuality really changed? I don't think they have as much as we'd like to tell ourselves they have.

Like men, orgasm is a release of sexual tension, which women certainly experience too. Why do I masturbate? Well, the same reason as anyone--stress, insomnia, being horny. Whether I'm in a relationship or not, I enjoy my own body on a regular basis. And I would venture to say that women who masturbate are better able to tell their lovers how to pleasure them. It's a win-win situation!

Veronica

Avatar for cl_tally33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 8:54pm
Boy Koondaddy, that's an outdated notion. It's 2003, get with the program dude! Many people find that the more they have sex and enjoy it, the more they masturbate and the higher the sex drive it. And studies have shown that when couples masturbate (and aren't embarrassed about it), the higher the satisfaction of their sex life together is. That's not my opinion either, its fact.
Tally33 "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:25pm
Who knows why your wife doesn't want to do it. People have their reasons. I love to do it... only problem is I can't get myself there alone. I need a toy or like a shower massager. I'm a very proud "Preferred Customer" with Adam & Eve. =)

My boyfriend and I are very open and he loves to watch me masturbate. It's fun for us and can get totally erotic. I also love watching him do it. There's nothing wrong with masturbation and I don't know why some people feel it's wrong. Any idea's on that...please share.

Do you and your wife have a very open relationship? Do you think she maybe feels uncomfortable expressing her feelings on this matter? It can be a very uncomfortable thing for woman because some feel it's not "proper" for us to do.
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anonymous user
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 4:36am
Koondadyo - I just can't believe you SAID that!!

This can't be the same Koondaddy who suffered such grief & aggravation because his ex. "caught" him masturbating? Haven't you learned ANYthing here?

Jeez, that's sad

Puss

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:25am
I Masturbate all the time, Why, it releases tension for me, it relaxes, my DH, works nights, and gosh darn it, it feels good. My DH actually got me started, he brought me some sex toys, and wanted to watch me, So I did and that was it, I was hooked! It also got me completely in tune with my body, I know what I like, what works, and I tell my DH. We have a very satisfying sex life! So I don't masturbate b/c my DH doesn't sasisfy me.. I think masturbation is very Healthy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 12:51am
do any of you girls ever discuss

masturbation with your friends?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 1:22am
Hello, Reality Check for koondaddy! The more sex I have, the more I want to masturbate and visa versa and that's very typical of most women! Maybe YOU don't need or want to masturbate and find it unnecessary when you have sex, but that's NOT the norm. Millions of people can't be wrong.