Women who do or do not masterbate

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Women who do or do not masterbate
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Wed, 03-26-2003 - 3:45am
Something I read on another thread made me think. My DW has never masterbated. When the topic has come up she says she doesn't understand why women do it, says she has never had the urge. Sex with a partner is all that interests her. If she were single she says she would just go without. Not that I want her to masterbate, but can you help me understand why one woman may say it's an something they do regularly and enjoy, others like my wife have never done it. Is it related to sex drive? Upbringing? Is it a way to bypass intimacy while still getting a release? Those who partake, why do you? From a guys point of view all I can say is the testosterone builds up...the opportunity for intimacy isn't looking good for a few days...your in the shower with a minute to spare...and away you go. Is it different for women?

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Avatar for fuzzylogic20
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:56am
You know, everyone does it for different reasons. I do it because I do occasionally need a release when my boyfriend isn't around to help me. But HE doesn't masturbate, because he says he has me to help him with that and he just doesn't need it as often as I do. Some women simply choose to not do it for their own reasons...these are many and varied. I couldn't begin to speculate why your wife has hangups about it, but at least now you know my reasons.

Just remember that there are men who don't masturbate...not everyone uses that free minute in the shower for that purpose. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:26am
I think it's just different for everybody, nevermind their gender. Some people do, some people don't, some people say they don't but do and I suppose there are those who say they do but don't.

Personally, I do. I have a high libido and it's not always possible to have sex with my husband when we both want to. And sometimes, as you said, there's that buildup of testosterone (yes, that's the hormone that affects sex drive in women as well) and you have that spare couple of minutes in the shower or wherever...Sometimes, I do it when I'm depressed and want to feel better and sometimes I do it because I'm happy and just want to do it anyway LOL!

I wouldn't worry whether your wife masturbates or not, so long as the rest of your sex life is satisfying for both of you. In my house, DH and I both know the other masturbates, but we don't really care to know the particulars (hahahahahaha!)

Shanno

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:32am
Like everything else about humans, we are ALL different! I'm one who doesn't do it, and never really have. I've done it a few times, just to see if it would work, and it did, BUT, there was nothing "therapeutic" about it.

I agree with your wife. If I'm in a relationship, I have sex. I LOVE it, and I'm not inhibited in any way, but I connect sex with a relationship, with a person, and the feelings I have for that person. I do NOT connect sex with "release", or with "orgasms", so, like your wife, if I'm NOT in a relationship, I have no need for sex, or for masturbation. When I've done it, I had orgasms, but when it was over, it just left me with an "empty" feeling, and made me miss my SO more than I did when I started.

For me, sex means a partner, and feelings for that partner. If I'm NOT in a relationship, I don't even think about sex. I was celibate by choice for 12 years once, and never even really thought about sex, and CERTAINLY not about masturbating. But, that's ME....and I can't speak for other women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 1:25pm
Funny you mentioned the shower. I use a shower messager only. I've tried with my hand but no results. I don't have a "need" to do it but just do for pleasure. I think though that I have them in my sleep. Either I'm dreaming I'm having orgasms or I'm masterbating in my sleep. Too weird huh?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 4:35pm
I have masturbated since I was about 15 yrs. old. I think some women ARE influenced by parents, society and the lack of information about female pleasure. Others, like myself weren't so much. I didn't have a lot of guilt about it because I felt it was better than being promiscuous. I also didn't want to have sex until marriage.

I masturbate when I feel the need, usually when my DH isn't available OR I just want a quick release. Probably for the very same reasons that most men do.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 4:41pm
Hey, buckeyejo, whadoyaknow? YOU sound suspiciously like someone else I know from this board! Could it be? Oh, I think so!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 6:23pm
Well, personally I get to a point where I have to release some sexual tension, especially if I'm not getting any action from a male. There are times where the urge become extremely intense and I can't wait to rush home and touch myself.
Avatar for cl_tally33
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 7:37pm
LOL @ Katmandoo - it took me a few minutes, but I think I figured it out!

As for the OP, I used to say I didn't either, that I didn't need to, didn't want to, didn't have the desire, that I preferred partnered sex.....but the whole time...I did masturbate.

Tally33 "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll
Avatar for wildlucky4me
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:17am
There are many reasons why people do... or do not masturbate.... or won't admit to it.

I, personally, like it... in complements intercourse nicely. It's also great to have sex or masturbate when you DON'T feel good. An awesome orgasm is an excellent, FAST remedy for a headache.

Whoever said "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache." just had NO idea what misery they were putting themselves through.

Karen

Karen ~ wildlucky4me  

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:42am
If a person has a healthy sex life they will not have the uger to masterbate. They will get all there intimacy from their SO and have no need to do that.

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