Women's idea of GREAT!!! sex?
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Women's idea of GREAT!!! sex?
| Sun, 10-09-2005 - 3:24am |
When women say that the sex in a relationship is GREAT!!! (not just good), exactly what do they mean? What makes the sex good with one man but great with another? My wife and I have a good sex life, but I'd love it to be great for her. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Thanks.

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Did your wife say sex is not great for her?
Good sex......Great sex.....it's all relative, and it's semantics. If a woman is with a man who doesn't know his way around a woman's body, or a guy who doesn't CARE about a woman's satisfaction.........and then she finds a guy who DOES care, or know what he's doing, it's going to be GREAT (by comparison). BTDT!!!
Then you have a woman who's a virgin, who has no idea what good or great sex is supposed to be like, and she has a so-so partner......to her it might be good, or even great, but to another more experienced woman, he may be nothing.
I think that most of the time (at least here on these boards) those who are raving about fantastic sex haven't had much to compare it with. I've been in that position myself. Married to a selfish and completely unaware man for 20 years, divorced, find a few men who are exactly like the ex, then find a guy who knows what he's doing, and wants ME to enjoy......Wow! That was great sex. That relationship ended after several years. Then I was alone for several years, partly because I thought that no one could be better, and I would be disappointed with any other man. WRONG! In my early 60's I met someone who was so much better....and had GREAT sex for a few years......because not only was he concerned about my pleasure, he knew how to bring out the best in me, get me over inhibitions I had, and be just as hedonistic as he was. Unfortunately, I knew early on that the relationship was based only on sex, and it wouldn't last, and it didn't. But it was great while it lasted!
Tish asked, and I will too......has your wife ever said it WASN'T great? Not all women are verbal about it. They just enjoy it. The best way to find out is to start talking about it. Ask her if there's something she's always wanted to try, but never asked for. Tell her if you have any ideas of things to do to make it better, more exciting, etc. Also, remember that what was exciting way back, can get kind of boring, or routine after many years. Change the "routine" a little! (I can remember to the minute my ex's routine when I was married. It was almost a joke to me.....I always knew exactly what he was going to do next!)
What makes it better with one man than with another? How you feel about the man, how he feels about you, but I think the most important thing is that he makes you feel like your pleasure is his main goal, and he knows how to give you that pleasure. In many cases, since all of us are different......guys think that because one woman tells him she loves a particular thing, then all women will love it. That is NOT true! You have to find out from each woman what she wants and needs. Start talking!
I'm just trying to think back to the experiences I've had. And to be honest, the guy I'm sleeping with now is definitely the best. Why? Because before we started sleeping together we built up a friendship where we could tell each other anything, and we knew what each other wanted before we started having sex. No guessing and fiddling around trying to find each other's hot spots. And we made it clear to each other that if we want to do something, then we should say so. I've never met anyone that I could be so open with about what I want in bed, and I think that it makes all the difference in the world (and he's had a bit of experience as well, so that obviously helps!).
Try new things. Ask her outside of the bedroom if there's anything she wants to do that she hasn't done before, or hasn't done for a long time. Sex can get a bit boring if you stick to the same routine every time. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy it, but it sticks in your mind if you know exactly what will happen next. The excitement of not knowing can be a real thrill.
Janet
What makes sex great for me, is when my DH and I are completely in sync. He knows what I need before I do. But of course, that has come from lots of time and experience together, too.
Maybe what your wife is missing is not some physical technique but intimacy or an emotional connection during sex. The only way to know is to ask HER though. Only she can tell you what SHE needs.
Good sex is when you may orgasm but you feel as if YOU did most of the work. LOL! I would imagine that my two definitions of good and great sex are similar for men, as well.
As someone once said, sex is like pizza, it's NEVER bad, just better sometimes than others.
Edited 10/10/2005 9:54 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
In my experiences, most women like about the same things. Some a little more of this, and some a little more of that...Thats why relationship sex is best, because there isnt much guess work, one just has to dream up different variations of a similar theme.
What it means is different for every woman.
For me, it is a complex combination of the physical and the mental. Both components have to be great for it to be great.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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Bullcrap. Both can be not only bad, but disgusting.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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