Worried About GF's First Vibrator

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Worried About GF's First Vibrator
26
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 10:01am

My gf has only reached an orgasm one of two ways. Either she masturbates (not often) with her fingers and orgasms through direct clitoral stimulation, or I'll perform oral on her. This has been going on for almost 2 years. A few days ago, I saw a small vibrator in a sex store online and decided to buy it so I can use it on her during oral. (I've thought about buying one in the past, but for some reason, just never did)

I told her about it and she seemed very anxious to use it (telling me that she wanted to see it twice, but I told her I have to wait for it in the mail). But basically, I am very good at giving her oral and to be honest, there has never been a time where I started pleasing her and she did not orgasm. With that said, I'm wondering if when she gets this brand new toy she will use it and be extremely happy with it to the point where the vibrator stimulates her clit and helps her reach an orgasm better than my mouth ever can/will. I'm not second guessing whether or not I should use it on her and let her keep it.

Has anybody been in a similar situation? If so, what did happen when the new toy was introduced and how did it effect your sex lives from then on?

cl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 2:43pm

She Shouldnt start something she doesnt plan on finishing. My partner would be Pissed if I did that to him without very good reason.

Also - Maybe Try 69 - That way you are both recieving oral sex at the same time. Me and My husband enjoy 69 very much and sometimes dont even go to intercourse because we both orgasm. Giving and getting pleasure orally at same time is pure bliss.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:17pm

It's true, she shouldn't start something and not finish. That's the thing that gets me the most. But at the same time, regarding something else I don't feel like she's always taking and not giving. For example, yesterday we rented a hotel to get away for a few hours and the first thing we did sexually was she gave me oral. She basically did until she got tired. I really appreciate it and I proceded to masturbate, while she just watched and played with my down there. I was actually the one that suggessted she sit on my face, it wasn't like she said ok I'm done with giving you head now its my turn, you get me? I never felt as though she were selfish.

Just those times where she might start something and quickly end it before it really began, that's what gets to me.

cl

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 3:37pm

>>the first thing we did sexually was she gave me oral. She basically did until she got tired. I really appreciate it and I proceded to masturbate,<<

see that is still a problem at least in my view. When I give oral to my husband I dont expect him to masturbate to finish himself off. We've been together 8 years and according to him the only time he ever felt the need to masturbate was when I was out of town for 2 weeks on a business trip.

Normally from start to finish Oral Sex takes about 20 minutes for my husband to orgasm. Sometimes much shorter sometimes a little longer depending on his mood and how into it I am. When I start a blow job, I finish it. Does she ever take you from start to finish orally, without you having to masturbate?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 5:04pm
If you're fine with what she does, then that's all that matters but you do need to tell her how frustrating it can be when she teases you. No one enjoys becoming aroused and not finishing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2004
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 10:13am
I'm sorry but she does sound selfish. I mean how tired was she that she couldn't use HER hand to finsh you off, you still had to use YOUR hand. I guess, it's a good thing that you don't see her as selfish, because that would be the biggest turn off! I hope something changes for you soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 11:38am

The more I read, the more I see that she's either very selfish, or very immature, or very ignorant of a man's sexual needs. I also see that you don't know how to communicate with her. You think that if you stop in the middle with her, she'll get the idea? I doubt that. What you need to do is to TELL her what you don't like, and what you want. You need to tell her that if she's not going to finish, she shouldn't start something. You need to explain to her that there's NO difference between "horny" and "TOO horny".

You are allowing her to feel that it's all about HER and HER pleasure, and you're just there to satisfy her! She needs a wakeup call! There are two people involved, and BOTH people need and deserve pleasure and satisfaction.

YOu need to start talking to her, and telling her the same things you're telling us. You need to tell her how she makes you feel. You need to stop trying to blame yourself, because you've done nothing wrong except allow her to be lazy and selfish! Believe me, it's not going to be any different when you two finally get around to having intercourse. You need to fix the problems now, because they're not going to get magically better one day. It takes communication, and it takes wanting to give pleasure on BOTH sides! Start talking!

PS: about that vibrator that you originally asked about.....I wouldn't even give it to her. That's just one more way that you're knocking yourself out to please her....and getting little or nothing in return. Let her earn it! (with a change in attitude!)

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